I always thought that no one
**really** likes to hear the boring details of their friends love lives... Therefore, I have been VERY surprised at the requests I have recieved asking me to clue everyone in on the story that brought Palwesh & I together... I'll do my best. (all the while trying not to embarass him or myself!)
"I was born a small, black child..." Ok, not really. (in case you're not into movie quotes, that comes from
The Jerk, a mindless, yet entertaining movie by Steve Martin)
Ok, rewind to 2003, my friend Cindy & I traversed to Kota, India with the intentions of producing a CD, sung by the orphans, to bring back to the states to raise awareness (and money) for the ministry with which we were working. Little did I know, this trip would change my life.
It was during this trip that I met Palwesh. He was a
sweet guy with a
silent authority that everyone respected. His type of
leadership proved that you don't have to be a screamer to get things done. We spent a great deal of time together in the studio and in whatever spare time we had. On my last night in town, he missed the bus that was carrying a group of us back to the studio. I noticed he was missing immediately, but there was nothing I could do about it. I sat up several hours that night & waiting to make sure he returned safely. When he arrived, I think we both realised this was something more than just a friendship... Despite those mutual feelings, I convinced myself that realistically this could never work. I left India feeling happy that we had shared some time together, but that nothing else would come of it...
In 2004 we returned to India. Palwesh had moved to
Beawar, which is about 5 hours from Kota by bus (if I remember correctly!). He made the trek to Kota to be present for the Bible Students Graduation... and to see me :0) Again, we spent some quality time together and I left thinking "this could never happen..."
Since 2003, we have communicated regularly via phone & an occasional e-mail. Every conversation ended with 'I love you,' but in my logical mind, I still couldn't make everything line up.
Palwesh had committed to meet us at the airport when we arrived on 22 September 2008. I was looking forward to seeing him, but again, was standing strong on the fact that it was just a strong friendship - nothing more...
Then I saw him. An unquenchable smile sprang across my face. My heart literally leapt. (I should write for movies, shouldn't I?)
A day later, we had lunch at his home in
Munirka (which was lovingly prepared by Sarika, his younger and VERY beautiful sister!) We spent the afternoon talking, catching up... then I, meaning to be funny, said "you know, several of my friends told me I better not marry you while I am here." His face suddenly turned very serious - he wondered why they would say such a thing... why they would dislike him so much even though they had never met him... I explained that while they
were joking, they knew of our past friendship and my inability to completely get him out of my system... he smiled. Then he asked
"well, would you consider marrying me?" It was kind of funny... you know, every girl has this movie scene planned out of how their true love will ask them to marry them... Never did I think it would be in a rooftop apartment, in Munirka, New Delhi, India at about 35 degrees C (95 degrees F) in the shade, on the first few days of a 3 week visit to the land I love... but here it was...
and I had no answer... So much of me wanted to scream YES! But years of over-thinking the relationships potential problems kept that from happening... Instead, I told him I would pray about it and trust the Lord to work things out if this marriage was to happen...
Besides that, I explained that in the states (well, at least the South), the man typically asks the woman's father for his daughter's hand in marriage. I told him that it was crucial to me to have Dad's blessing. I cannot wait for them to meet! Palwesh says that his priority is taking care of me, which includes taking care of Dad... He has spent the last 5 years faithfully praying for Mom, Dad & I. I am sorry that he was not able to meet mom before she went to be with Jesus. I know she would have adored him... (on a funny note: Mom could never pronounce Palwesh's name - she always called him "Paldesh." Apparently, there is a similar Hindi word that means something like "to travel out of one's country" - think Mom was being prophetic??)
Piece by unmistakeable piece, things started falling into place while I was in India. Dear Indian friends that we trust as spiritual advisors have given our relationship their seal of approval and are helping us get things accomplished. We were a bit uncertain of how they would respond because there are several cultural taboos in our relationship. For instance, most Indians (as well as Americans) feel very strongly that the man should be older than the woman - sometimes MUCH older - and this, of course, is not the case in our relationship. (I challenge you, however, to find a more mature & godly man of ANY age... I promise, it will be difficult!)
Also, there are always accusations anytime an American marries an Indian - most feel it can only be an illegal arrangement just to get the Indian into the states. Too many people have maniplated the system in order to get someone into our country, ruining the process for those of us that really are in love and want to be together.
Our intention is to stay in the states for several years and then return to India in hopes of running our own orphanage. (with, of course, short trips HOME to India in between!) We both love India. We know our ministry will eventually be there. I selfishly want him to come to the states as soon as possible, so he can meet my family & friends... and so you all can come to love this wonderful man that the Lord has sent just for me...
We know it won't be easy. We know there will be people that don't understand. We are prepared for that.
I just pray that everyone on the planet, at least one time in their life, can know the love that I feel when he looks deep into my eyes. That is something I seriously never thought I would find... I am truly blessed...
