I'm not in a position to leave mom - having a hard enough time falling asleep knowing she could be hurting & I'd never know it. That is what is unbearable to me. Losing her is not the worst part - because I know where she's going... I just can't bear for her to hurt or be lonely or afraid... That makes me weep...
I've often wondered about my passion for the world. I've come to the realization that I am STRONGLY moved by and long to end another human beings' suffering. Meeting their bodily needs extinguishes that IMMEDIATE suffering, however, introducing them to Christ can bring them peace that passes ALL understanding and put an end to a LIFETIME of suffering... Does that make sense?
As an aside: I went in to tell Mom goodnight & that I was headed to bed (the neurontin was kicking in & I was/am getting sleepy). She mumbled something, hence starting the game of asking her yes/no questions (ie: are you in pain? Do you want ice chips? etc.) She looked over at me once with a look on her face that SO evidently said "why the heck are you still here?" I grinned a cheesy grin at her & she flashed a gummy grin back! As gone as quickly as it appeared, it made Aunt Janette & I laugh! She then said "GO TO BED!" So even at her unhealthiest, she still feels the need to boss me around... Mothers! (geesh!)
nite...
1 comment:
Funny! What a persistent sense of humor that one has!
I hope you are getting some good deep sleep in. I could actually understand Aunt Weeze towards the end of our little conversation. It must be frustrating for her to not be understood. The yes/no questions are such a good way to work around that! I was SO HAPPY to hear Becca's report of today. Sounded like such a big improvement over yesterday. So great to hear she isn't in pain. I wish I was there with you all. Praying!
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