Thursday, January 29, 2009

interpretation, please...

I received 2 emails today, from two different continents, each informing me they had dreams about mom last night...

The first was from my dear friend Neto in Brazil:

"... actually what made me do this (write this email) was a clear dream that I had with Your Mommy, it felt so good to see her. she was perfect and like she had gain weight and etc.....and than she asked me to pray for you it was something about your heart !!! I don't know what it is but like we know GOD is in control so I did what she asked me to do. And I hope you are ok."

The second was from Bethany, my cousin (whom I would also claim as my firstborn):

"I wanted to let you know I dreamed about you last night.  You and your mom were walking through a mall type place and talking about your wedding.  Aunt Weeze was encouraging you to have it around Christmas or on her birthday.  I hope it isn't that far away!  I love you!"

Isn't that bizarre? I'm searching my heart & actually spending time with the Lord about this... Scripture plainly states that in the end times, men will dreams & have visions... I don't take that lightly!

Just thought this was too good not to share!

Blessings on you...and... sweet dreams!

Big news!!!

As of this morning, Palwesh's passport has been granted and a passport number has been allotted!!!! Now the waiting begins to receive it in the mail (if you know ANYTHING about the Indian postal service, you know this is no small concern!). After that, all of the essential paperwork will go to Chinmoy, the attorney, (called an 'advocate' in India) so he can procure a visa. Please pray specifically for him and for this process...

We are getting closer!!! I am VERY excited! Cannot WAIT for you all to meet Palwesh!
Please also pray for me... I need a healing touch in my body. I can hardly believe that today makes 3 weeks since my surgery. I had a sort of relapse on Tuesday which has left me at home on the couch AGAIN for the last 2 days... Even though I tried to build up to going back full time, I must've overdone it by sitting at work for 7 hours... but I did get up and walk occasionally...

Then, yesterday, I started having a Chiari-like headache which worsened during the night (I actually had a dream in which I had a headache and was telling people it was from the Chiari!) PLUS I awakened with chest congestion - between you & me, coughing does NOTHING for head and back pain!
I thank the Lord for my boss, Pastor Mike! I cannot IMAGINE going through all of this and not having an understanding & caring boss... In case you're reading this, I PROMISE I'm working toward better health, Chief!!!
So today, even though I'm rejoicing in this GREAT passport news, I'm having to take pain meds again... and I *REALLY* don't like that. Please keep praying!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Passport update...

As of this morning, Palwesh's passport status has been updated to read "Police Report is clear. Application is under process. " He specifically asked me to post this on the blog & THANK all of you that are praying with us through this process...

I am doing SO much better, Praise the Lord! I am planning to go back to work in the next couple of days - am REALLY excited about that! Am ready to escape the confinement of my house!!! I am completely drug free (Hallelujah!) and building up my stamina... Thank you all for your prayers and visits and food and such!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Pardon my delay...

(previously on Milestones in 2009 - Anita was in a semi-drugged state in the Spine Center at Lee Memorial Hospital)

Ok, I am sooo sorry that I haven't had a chance to update the blog in a while. Laying flat on your back & having no way to move the computer closer to the couch will do that for ya! I learned the hard way on Monday that I should only be sitting upright for about 10-15 minutes at a time. A few muscle relaxers later & I'm feeling ok again! 

I'm really doing well... not having to take any pain pills or any more muscle relaxants now, Praise the Lord! But sitting upright is still a small issue. I've been building up my time and am at about 20 minutes! Woohoo! (doesn't sound like much, but it's a start!)

The rest of the time, I lounge on the couch, watching old movies and such. Looking at my house that desperately needs cleaning, knowing I can't do anything about it... Gets awfully frustrating, but God is good... 

Eva let me borrow her laptop, so now I can be a more communicative from Couchside, FL... Looking forward to hearing from you all!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

It's a boy!!!

Just kidding... But I'm out of surgery & in my fancy dancy room in the Spine Center (wooooooh!)

Thanks for all the calls & texts! Love you all!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Welcome to 2009 - I'm Anita and I'll be your tour guide...

I wish I had the strength to be witty and come up with some creative ways to start out my first real post of 2009. But I don't...

I have been struggling with low back pain off and on since I was a senior in high school, but the last month has been the worst. I had an MRI on Dec. 2 that showed I had some bulging/protruding disks complete with annular tears.

I then took a wee fall, one that I hardly thought was worth mentioning, and the pain worsened. After a visit to Dr. Dusseau, we decided to get a second MRI to see if the fall created more damage. It did.

Tomorrow I will go in for a Laminotomy and some other random back surgery type things. Dr. Dusseau says it is a simple surgery that will take him about an hour. He says I will be up walking the same day! Can you believe that? I will stay the night in the hospital and go home on Friday.

Please pray for wisdom for Dr. Dusseau and for a super quick recovery time! Pray also for Dad & Palwesh - Dad, because it doesn't matter how old I get, I'm still his little girl and Palwesh, because he hates being away while I'm going through this!

I deeply appreciate all your prayers! I'll post a blog as soon as I am cognitive after the surgery tomorrow to give everyone an update...

Many blessings to you and yours in this new year!



Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008...

Granted, this was written VERY late at night so I am certain MUCH was left out. But here's a synopsis of my Transpirations in 2008...

In 2008 I:
-learned more than I wanted about radiation, chemotherapy, (including the fact that a hot pack on the puncture cite BEFORE the needle goes in really helps!), Boniva, Procrit, Megase, Ron's Rum and drug interactions
- was in my dear friend Julie's wedding!
- was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation
- started taking neurontin & an occasional vicadin
- had vascular & nerve conduction testing
- encouraged my friend Babu CJ to start Asha Mission Society. Was honored by his request to be on his board & act as Treasurer
- saw Wicked!
- proudly watched my cousin Becca graduate with her RN
- proudly watched (via the internet) as my surrogate child Navi graduated with her BS in Psyc
- visited Disney... Twice! (Once alone & once with Keith a Heather!)
- had my heart broken by someone in leadership
- learned that pre-planning for funerals is really worth it
- saw my friends the Brunnstrom's twice! Once here and once in Denmark!
- was painfully disappointed by the much hyped Indiana Jones movie
- had a weird throat thing that felt like someone was stepping on my throat. Dr's said it was stress induced. Go figure.
- woke up one morning deaf in my right ear. Dr found that the pressure inside my head was greater than what is outside (they should be equal.)
- went 3 weeks with NO sugar
- started gettin therapuetic massage 2x a week - yes, Patty is awesome & yes, she's accepting new clients!
- saw Bethany, Ben & sweet Violetta a couple of times!
- learned a lot about end of life care
- fell deeper in love with my selfless family - they sacrificed all to provide great care for mom in her final days
- watched my mom slip into eternity
- was so thankful that Pastor Thomas could officiate mom's beautiful memorial service
- lost former beloved Music Pastor Larry Ferguson
- spent a lot of quality time with my pseudo-twin, Keith
- lost 34 pounds!!!
- went to INDIA!
- fell in love with the kids at Asha Mission Society Children's home in Bijwasan, Delhi, India!
- was surprised by a different kind of love
- daily fall more and more in love with Palwesh!
- was relieved of chronic Chiari Malformation symptoms that had required daily doses of vicadin!!
- had my heart ripped out as I left my beloved country, children and boyfriend
- visited Copenhagen
- visited Mariager
- visited Korsor
- spent Kathrina's birthday with her!
- went to Homecoming at Liberty University
- arrived home just in time for Missions Convention at first Assembly!
- was sad when my Disney pass expired =•(
- went with Dad to a Family Reunion in GA
- had Thanksgiving with friends and family at my house
- was diagnosed with vitiligo
- started experiencing bad low back pain. Had first MRI = bulging, protruding disks with annular tears
- took a wee tumble that apparently hurt my back more than I realized
- enjoyed outdoor Christmas movie night at Inna & Sanelli's
- organized & attended our first ever monthly restaurant outing with 13 people!
- constantly thanked the Lord for the remarkably rapid progress in getting Palwesh's paperwork done so he can come to the states!
- made history with my collard greens at the Admin. Staff luncheon (oh yeah!)
- rejoiced with dad when I learned that he is getting some relief from the pains in his legs with the help of Dr. Sievert!
- met up with my little sisters closest friend, Jamie, from childhood. Found out that Angie is a key reason that Jamie is a Christ follower today! Wow!
- spent time with amazing friends
- realized my puppy, Hadi, is getting old (she'll be 10 on Jan. 6th)
- had a second MRI - not sure of the results yet
- was told today to not "live beneath your spiritual promises" - great rule to live by...

While not all inclusive, I think this gives a pretty nifty timeline of my 2008 - how was yours?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

What if He hadn't come?

Have you ever stopped to imagine how life would be different if we were still awaiting the arrival of the Infant King?

If the path of the Old Testament held fast, the crooked vendors outside our places of worship would set governmentally unregulated prices and consistently gouge our wallets for less than adequate animals to take to the priests.

In this do-whatever-I-want-to-do society, there would be no end to the flow of sacrificial blood. Immoral, impure preists would interecede for us and stand before God to make atonement for our sins.

Would we cry out to God to send the Messiah? Would we plead for the New Covenant which would end the rituals and bloodshed of the Old? Would we be watching for a young girl named Mary to make CNN headlines as she claimed to be carrying the Son of God?

Or would we care at all? Would it be too difficult? Would we give up and live as pagans as the Israelites did so often...?

Thank you, Jesus, for freeing us... I celebrate You today...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Quick update...

Just spoke to Palwesh... He has applied for his passport without any problems! PRAISE THE LORD! In about 2 weeks, the police will come & do an inquiry to make sure all of his information is correct - PLEASE keep praying! We're praying that he can be here by Feb.!!! (hopefully sooner!!!)

My 100th post!

It's hard to believe that so much time has passed since my last blog. A lot has been going on and I find I'm getting oncreasingly worse at correspondence. Please forgive me!

I figured on this 100th post I would get you caught up on all my goings on...

Good news first:
Palwesh has successfully gathered all the necessary paperwork (drivers license, birth certificate, etc.) and is applying for his passport this week! (Woohoo!) We have so evidently seen the hand of God through this process... and we praise Him for every small victory!

After a month or so, he should receive his passport. He then will take all of his accumulated paperwork to the attorney in Delhi and he will procure a visa. Whew! It has been a LOT of work for Palwesh to accomplish! Can't wait for everyone to meet him!!

Now for the less-than-good news:

I'll start out with a somewhat humorous story. One of my favorite doctors, Dr. Jim Hogsed (aka "the Voodoo doctor"), and I often laugh about the obscure illnesses I seem to contract. He kids that I keep him studied up on weird case studies & that I should be featured on House!

Well, this time is no different. Since I returned from my trip, I have seen SEVERAL doctors. One of whom was Dr. Vu, a dermatologist. VERY long story short, I have Vitilgo. Yep. You've heard of it. Its the auto-immune disease that Michael Jackson *claims* to have that has turned him white. I, like most REAL people that have it, have white patches all over my body where the skin has lost its pigment. The most prominent spots, unfortunately, are around my eyes. I have been covering it up with makeup for years, not knowing what caused it.
Dr. Vu has put me on a regiment of Protopic ointment & prescription strength hydrocortizone cream that has been known to re-pigment the skin. It supposedly takes a while to work, but we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, that seems to be the least of my worries these days...

After returning from my trip, I started having increasing pain in my right hip/leg/back area so my wonderful chiropractor (Dr. Thomas Sievert, 239-936-1233, in case you're in need of his services!!) sent me for an MRI.

The verdict is I have bulges, protrusions and annular tears in the discs in my lower back. It is TERRIBLY painful and, honestly, today has been THE worst and I don't know why. I'm going to see Dr. Dusseau (neurosurgeon) in the next few weeks to see if there's something surgical that needs to be done. There are times it is fine, then all of a sudden it grabs and feels like electric shock running down my right leg. When it happens, I'm motionless and can't help but whimper outloud... it is NOT fun. Today, I couldn't even get into my car without excruciating pain.

I do not like taking pain medication, but I am having to take it just to function. And today, the pain persisted despite the Vicadin.

You who continue to read this are my faithful friends and family... I'm begging you to pray... I don't know why this is happening, but I KNOW He has a plan! Pray not only for me, but for Palwesh - who hates that he's not here to help me. Pray for Dad because he doesn't know WHAT to do!

Lastly, pray for me... that I exemplify Christ through all of this. Who knows, all of this could be happening because every time I see my neurosurgeon, I am able to plant a seed...

I love you!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

by the way....


I am still headache free! Praise the Lord!!!

Life went on without me...

Sorry for the lack o' communication... here's the catch up:

Well, I am thrilled to say that there was NOT a huge stack of work piled up on my desk when I returned to my office on Monday ONLY because Rachel (affectionately known as "Rackel"), Josh, Evan, John, Heather & Pastor Mike pulled together and proved that they don't *really* need me after all... I have spent the last week attempting to prove otherwise (hence no blog posts!) We really do have an amazing team in the Music/Media department and I feel very blessed to be a part of it...

Last night kicked off our Missions Convention. (You can find our schedule of events HERE) Our first speaker was David Grant, a missionary to, you guessed it, India! I, of course, bawled my eyes out. I will never understand the passion the Lord has given me for India. I have had the amazing opportunity to travel to something like 20 countries around the world. God has used that to build a passion for His people all over - but none of those places feels like home... none accept India. It is a very difficult place to live (especially for a spoiled American!) but no place on this earth grasps my heart like India does. The people are beautiful. Their eyes are often empty, though - as they hunger for something that only Christ can fill... It's dirty. It's smelly. It is a land of chaos. (what would you expect in a country that embraces Hinduism and worships some 330 MILLION gods!!! I have a hard enough time showing my ONE God the respect He deserves!)

Please pray for the people of India. Pray for the missionaries that are called there. Pray for me!

Many of you have asked for an update on Palwesh - he has received his PAN card, has opened a bank account and is now in the process for applying for a driving license (I LOVE the opening statement on that link: "Stop!!! You have reached your dream driving destination. Indian Driving Schools is your 24/7 junction to enhance the art and skill of efficient driving." Anyone that has been on ANY Indian road knows SOMETHING needs to happen to "enhance the art and skill of efficient driving." HAHAHA!) But I digress...

We have been told will take at least one month for him to receive the driving license after he applies. Then he will be able to apply for his passport (at least another month). We haven't given up hope for him to be here by Christmas - but that is DEFINITELY something the Lord will have to work out!!! PLEASE keep praying. For him, for me and for our future...

Every time I talk to him, before he hangs up, he says "please tell everyone there that I am praying for them..." and you know what... he means it!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Back to life, back to reality...

Getting ready to board American Airlines flight 555 from Raleigh to Miami with a connecting flight to Fort Myers...

Looking at a busy couple of weeks getting ready fo missions convention at the church, and for that I am grateful... It will help me re-adjust to Florida life and *possibly* keep me hectic enough to keep my mind off of all that I have left behind in India.

I know what you are thinking, and yes, Palwesh is a huge part of that... However, there is an orphanage full of kids that kept a big part of my heart there with them when I left...

I wish I could explain this better, but I THRIVE in India. Listen, before I left Fort Myers, I was taking vicodin almost daily for the headaches caused by the Chiari Malformation. While in India, I kid you not, I had 2 MINOR headaches (for which I took only ibuprofen) and have 39 out of 40 vicodin in the new prescription bottle that I had filled before I left! (i had to take one on the flight over)

more to come later, I have to get ready to board the plane now...

Friday, October 24, 2008

On American soil...

After traveling for about 20 hours, I finally arrived in Lynchburg about 8pm last night... I hit the bed by about 8:30 & was out like a light... until about 2:30. Its now 5:30 & I just can't sleep, I'll lay here though, in atempts to reprogram my body to Eastern Standard Time!

I woke up really missing my kids back in Bijwasan, New Delhi... I pray they are healthy, strong and that I get to see them again REALLY soon... I am going to call them today & check in.

the next few days will be fun - I will probably see some folks at Liberty's Homecoming that I haven't seen in a long time. Hopefully I can stay awake through the dinner!

Sunday I head back to Fort Myers - work will be VERY busy starting Monday as we prepare for one of my favorite times of the year: Missions Convention!!! (If you're in the area, you should come check out our Tour of Missions happening on 2 nights, a week from Sunday & Monday night! Its a great opportunity to learn about other countries & spur you, and your kids!, into supporting missions work!) I believe the schedule is on our website at www.famfm.com... If you have any questions, please let me know!

Ok, off to use the WESTERN TOILET & then will attempt to go back to sleep...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHRINA!!!

This morning Morten timidly knocked on my door at 7am and asked if I wanted to participate in their family birthday tradition... OF COURSE! So with breakfast on a tray, we went into awaken the sleeping Kathrina & sing her a rousing birthday song! What a great way to start the morning...

She & I are headed out shopping and spending the day together! I love her so much! What an amazing blessing the Lord has given me in her friendship (& Morten's as well! He is an amazing man! A great husband and an outstanding father!)

talk more soon...
a

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A grand day out....

here is a picture of the Axelsen's and I in their living room in Korsoer yesterday!
They are sooo sweet!

90th post!

Wow - 90 posts! What better way to celebrate than with some pics from Denmark...
I think Kathrina was almost as happy to see me as I was to see her!
Copenhagen = big city
Mariager = small town


Kathrina, Mikkel & Kasper: Getting ready to go into Tivoli! (Morten was parking the car...)

(for some reason, it will only allow me to post these few pics right now... I'll try for more on a separate post)

And now... the rest of the story...

I always thought that no one **really** likes to hear the boring details of their friends love lives... Therefore, I have been VERY surprised at the requests I have recieved asking me to clue everyone in on the story that brought Palwesh & I together... I'll do my best. (all the while trying not to embarass him or myself!)

"I was born a small, black child..." Ok, not really. (in case you're not into movie quotes, that comes from The Jerk, a mindless, yet entertaining movie by Steve Martin)

Ok, rewind to 2003, my friend Cindy & I traversed to Kota, India with the intentions of producing a CD, sung by the orphans, to bring back to the states to raise awareness (and money) for the ministry with which we were working. Little did I know, this trip would change my life.

It was during this trip that I met Palwesh. He was a sweet guy with a silent authority that everyone respected. His type of leadership proved that you don't have to be a screamer to get things done. We spent a great deal of time together in the studio and in whatever spare time we had. On my last night in town, he missed the bus that was carrying a group of us back to the studio. I noticed he was missing immediately, but there was nothing I could do about it. I sat up several hours that night & waiting to make sure he returned safely. When he arrived, I think we both realised this was something more than just a friendship... Despite those mutual feelings, I convinced myself that realistically this could never work. I left India feeling happy that we had shared some time together, but that nothing else would come of it...

In 2004 we returned to India. Palwesh had moved to Beawar, which is about 5 hours from Kota by bus (if I remember correctly!). He made the trek to Kota to be present for the Bible Students Graduation... and to see me :0) Again, we spent some quality time together and I left thinking "this could never happen..."

Since 2003, we have communicated regularly via phone & an occasional e-mail. Every conversation ended with 'I love you,' but in my logical mind, I still couldn't make everything line up.

Palwesh had committed to meet us at the airport when we arrived on 22 September 2008. I was looking forward to seeing him, but again, was standing strong on the fact that it was just a strong friendship - nothing more... Then I saw him. An unquenchable smile sprang across my face. My heart literally leapt. (I should write for movies, shouldn't I?)

A day later, we had lunch at his home in Munirka (which was lovingly prepared by Sarika, his younger and VERY beautiful sister!) We spent the afternoon talking, catching up... then I, meaning to be funny, said "you know, several of my friends told me I better not marry you while I am here." His face suddenly turned very serious - he wondered why they would say such a thing... why they would dislike him so much even though they had never met him... I explained that while they were joking, they knew of our past friendship and my inability to completely get him out of my system... he smiled. Then he asked "well, would you consider marrying me?"

It was kind of funny... you know, every girl has this movie scene planned out of how their true love will ask them to marry them... Never did I think it would be in a rooftop apartment, in Munirka, New Delhi, India at about 35 degrees C (95 degrees F) in the shade, on the first few days of a 3 week visit to the land I love... but here it was... and I had no answer... So much of me wanted to scream YES! But years of over-thinking the relationships potential problems kept that from happening... Instead, I told him I would pray about it and trust the Lord to work things out if this marriage was to happen...

Besides that, I explained that in the states (well, at least the South), the man typically asks the woman's father for his daughter's hand in marriage. I told him that it was crucial to me to have Dad's blessing. I cannot wait for them to meet! Palwesh says that his priority is taking care of me, which includes taking care of Dad... He has spent the last 5 years faithfully praying for Mom, Dad & I. I am sorry that he was not able to meet mom before she went to be with Jesus. I know she would have adored him... (on a funny note: Mom could never pronounce Palwesh's name - she always called him "Paldesh." Apparently, there is a similar Hindi word that means something like "to travel out of one's country" - think Mom was being prophetic??)

Piece by unmistakeable piece, things started falling into place while I was in India. Dear Indian friends that we trust as spiritual advisors have given our relationship their seal of approval and are helping us get things accomplished. We were a bit uncertain of how they would respond because there are several cultural taboos in our relationship. For instance, most Indians (as well as Americans) feel very strongly that the man should be older than the woman - sometimes MUCH older - and this, of course, is not the case in our relationship. (I challenge you, however, to find a more mature & godly man of ANY age... I promise, it will be difficult!)

Also, there are always accusations anytime an American marries an Indian - most feel it can only be an illegal arrangement just to get the Indian into the states. Too many people have maniplated the system in order to get someone into our country, ruining the process for those of us that really are in love and want to be together. Our intention is to stay in the states for several years and then return to India in hopes of running our own orphanage. (with, of course, short trips HOME to India in between!) We both love India. We know our ministry will eventually be there. I selfishly want him to come to the states as soon as possible, so he can meet my family & friends... and so you all can come to love this wonderful man that the Lord has sent just for me...

We know it won't be easy. We know there will be people that don't understand. We are prepared for that. I just pray that everyone on the planet, at least one time in their life, can know the love that I feel when he looks deep into my eyes. That is something I seriously never thought I would find... I am truly blessed...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

greetings from Jutland!

yesterday was Kathrina's sisters (Sanne) wedding - wow! The party lasted until after 3! I, however, did not! Today we will drive 3+ hours back to Copenhagen (we are in Mariager, Jutland now at her parents place) and we will go to Tivoli this afternoon! Woohoo! '

Tomorrow I will train to some old friends, Anna Grethe & Arno Axelsen, and spend the day with them in Korsor...

Wed. is Kathrina's b-day so we will celebrate Danish style (I have NO idea what that means!)

Talk to you again soon...
a

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Goodbyes are of the devil...

I bawled my eyes out last night. The orphans sang and presented me with a cloth that they all worte sweet messages on... Pastor Saji prayed... I just bawled. I hugged each kid, called them by name, and told them I loved them. Some of them were even crying... it was SOOOO hard to leave... I won't even tell you how hard it was to leave Palwesh behind... AAaaarrrghghghgh!

I am currently in Copenhagen, Denmark with my dear friends Kathrina & Morten (& their 2 boys Kasper & Mikkel). I tried to post some pictures of how AMAZING the fall scenery is here, but something is awry with the computer, so it will have to wait till later. I have gone from the high 90's in Delhi to it being in the 50's here - I LOVE it!!!!!!

Ok, more to come later, but for now, a real, working shower is calling out to me! (and yes, their western toilet & I are GREAT friends!)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

oh the matchless joy of a shower...

ok. So a shower doesn't *sound* like much. But when you have had nothing but bucket baths since Sept. 22, this mornings shower at Michelle's was a dream come true! However, said shower did confirm an earlier suspicion... the children gave me a little more than love for my birthday... here's a hint:

Yeah. I'm the hostess with the mostest. And, as you can probably imagine, all this hair is going to be fun to treat... anyway, just one of the exciting things one can come to expect living in close quarters with a LOT of children in a poor area...

Today Michelle is taking me to a market, Dilli Haat, which is not too far from her place. We'll spend today together then Palwesh will come fetch me later via auto rickshaw and take me back to the orphanage. Great times!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Just a quick note...

I am sitting in my childhood friend Michelle's flat in Delhi watching a Hindi movie & using her internet connection! By the way, she has a WESTERN TOILET!! This is heaven! She & Palwesh & I had a delightful veg. dinner at a local restaurant (less than $20 to feed all 3 of us!) and then have been chatting at her place... a collision of my two worlds! Awesome!

By now you must have figured out that Palwesh's name keeps cropping up in my posts more and more. One day I will write our whole story on here... but suffice it to say, we are very much in love... We covet your prayers as we follow the Lord's leadership on what to do next...

it is now 12:30am so I am signing off for the night... by the way, thank you all for your birthday wishes! You are all so precious to me!!!

Love ya!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

One week later...

OK, so I should have taken off the ginormous bug-eye glasses... but here is a pic from our shopping excursion yesterday... It was SO stinkin' HOT out! But I haven't had much shopping time, and definitely have not had a lot of one-on-one time with Palwesh, so this was a nice date!

Ok, remember I told you that my flash isn't working on my camera... so you'll kinda have to use your imagination on the following pics. This is the "boys" room at the orphanage. The cooler in the girls room is not working, so all 22 kids are sleeping in one room... There are a minimum of 2 kids per bunk and then the rest are lined up on the floor. Anyone feel the need to donate $300 to purchase at least one more bunk bed? Please let me know! (if you really look closely, you'll see that the ceiling fan is EASILY reachable from the top bunk of the bunkbeds... makes me nervous!)






The kids continue to do well - I find it remarkable that they all get along so well, and in such a confined space! They are out of school this week due to Diwali but they don't care WHAT it's for!!! There is a great AIM team here that are going to come and do VBS this week, so I know they will enjoy that!
Tomorrow we will try to get new "specs" (glasses) for Ramlal Small (there is also a Ramlal Big!) - his vision is so bad, and his current specs are not the correct prescription anymore. Poor guy.
Ok, gotta scoot - the internet cafe closes at 9:30, so I only have a few more minutes... Thanks for following my silly blog... hopefully it somehow paints a picture of what my life here is like...


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Baby dedication…

It was a wonderful Lord’s day here at Asha Mission Children’s home! Babu preached a wonderful message and also held his very first baby dedication for baby Asha. It was a beautiful celebration of her life and the miracle that she is…




You know, I have to give my dad a hard time when he fusses about me coming to India. I tell him “hey, it isn’t my fault that you dedicated me to the Lord when I was a baby!” He shakes his head & usually walks away from me at that point. (men just can’t handle defeat! )

Babu asked Palwesh to lead us in prayer during the service. His prayer, although in Hindi, was one of the most heartfelt and passionate prayers I have ever heard. It roused a lot of “Amen’s!” from those in the service. He truly is a man that is seeking God’s heart… He has a lot going on this week - please pray for favor & grace!!! I hope you all get to meet him one day soon!

Attempting to catch up on several days worth at one time here at the ol' internet cafe... It's WONDERFUL that Babu brought his laptop & I bought a flash drive before I left! I can type all this stuff out everyday and then simply cut & paste it into here! Thank you to those folks that are watching! Woohoo! It's like you're right here with me! Gonna try to catch some of my church's service online tonight - make sure they're getting along ok with out me! :) (Our website is http://www.famfm.com/ if you ever care to check it out... services stream live, but are also archived...


Tomorrow we are supposed to go to Jaipur and another place I can't spell... I am going to offer to stay behind at the orphanage with Grace & the kids so she won't be there overnight by herself. Unfortunately, she stumbled onto a burglar on the premises the week before we arrived & she's still a bit spooked. (don't worry, new safety precautions are in effect!!)


Then probably towards the end of the week, Babu & I will head to Kolkata to start work on the new orphanage site.


Blessings to you all!

No rest for the wicked… or something like that

After a wonderful day, I was worn out (not to mention that my head was still spinning from the discussion with Palwesh) and turned in for bed about 10:30. I awakened at 1:00am and could not, for the life of me, go back to sleep. So I did what any other red blooded American would do.. I started texting people. (it would have been 3:30 in the afternoon in Fort Myers). Needless to say, the next thing I knew, it was 5:00am and the kids were starting their morning routine. Their schedule is UNBELIEVABLE, It’s a little bit hard to read, but here is a picture of their daily routine (keep in mind, they also have school every other Saturday!)

I am SO tired now (I’m typing this at 9:30am my time, midnight EST) I can barely keep my eyes open. Thank the Lord for STRONG chai (love, love, LOVE it!!) and “black” coffee (no milk, but enough sugar to put a diabetic into a coma!) Hopefully I will get to the internet café today to post this.

We are going to go to the children’s school in a few minutes and pay up their school bill. It costs approximately $20 per month to send each child to school. Many of them have ‘educational sponsors,’ but this does not cover their day to day expenses. Would you consider sponsoring one of these precious kids? Or maybe one of the children we are hoping to rescue in Kolkata…? We hope to journey there in a few days via plane (it’s actually only $50 more to fly than to be on a train for over 24 hours… heck yeah, we’re flyin’!) Pray we find a WONDERFUL, inexpensive place for the new orphanage! As I have said before, you have NO idea how far an American dollar goes in India… For instance, Babu had to take some passport type photos for a banking transaction he was doing. He will receive 20 photos for 30 rupees. Right now, the exchange rate is 45 rupees to one dollar!!! In case you were wondering, it costs about $8.95 for TWO passport pictures at Walgreens in Fort Myers.

**update: the two sisters that came in to the orphanage last week are really warming up to everyone. I try to spend extra time with them to try to help get them better acclimated.

A life changing prayer request...

I am in my room listening to 22 orphans sing “He knows my name. He hears my every thought. He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call…” What a beautiful picture of who these children are… kids that trust that their heavenly Father cares for them, even if their own earthly father did not… Amazing how Americans have a difficult time trusting that God will never leave or forsake them, but these abandoned children grasp it heartily…remarkably thought provoking & touching…

Spent most of today with some of the now grown children I knew from the other orphanage… Sarika worked very hard and made us a wonderful meal! In this picture (left to right) are Sarika (Palwesh’s sister), Palwesh, Babu CJ and Pastor Saji Abraham.

Many of you have heard stories about Palwesh, and the very interesting relationship that we have shared over the last 5 years. Since my last trip here in 2004, we have maintained steady telephone communication and our friendship has continued to grow. I came to India convinced that ‘friendship’ was all we were to share. I even had some friends joke with me saying “don’t you come back married to that guy!” I really had no idea that our mutual feelings for each other would still be as strong as they were when I saw him last. However… (those dreaded ellipses)

At this point, all I will say is - PLEASE pray with us for guidance, wisdom and favor as we seek the Lord about what comes next.

Palwesh delivered me (via rickshaw) back to home base around 5:30 and I helped several of the children with their homework.

Tomorrow I will go do some shopping (let’s call it Squatty Potty therapy, shall we?) with Grace, the house mother here. She & I have become amazingly close in a few short days. I think she craves some adult conversation (plus I help her with her English skills!) J She is unbelievably hard working - I push her to take rest during the day… I think she appreciates it!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"Folks that listen"...

See the Folks that Listen widget (no, I don't know what it means either) on the left hand side of the screen? Why not join in & let me know you're reading?

Blessings-
A

Some pictures...

Babu and Asha - the baby that came to Asha Mission society at 3 days old!


The unbelievable electrical system...

Grace, the Momma of the house... Behind her is something they call a "cooler" which uses water pulled from the air to help cool a room. I have one for my room as well. This picture was taken from my bedroom door...

I love this picture. It gives you a glimpse into the poverty, yet the bright colors of India. This was taken on the roof where the children's bathroom is located. One boy recently fell from the roof & almost died. The doctors couldn't believe he survived!

Another shot from the roof - Take note of the reflection...


And of course, I had to get one picture on here with Asha and her Anitha Auntie... (yes, that's how they spell my name here!)

Wednesday - we’re halfway through & you haven’t even started…

I have to warn you first, some of the following could be too much information (TMI) for some people…

I love Indian food. I don’t care what region it is from, there is very little that I have found that I don’t like. One of those things are “pickles.” Nasty. Anyway… I have found that my appetite is minimal because (here’s where the TMI comes in) I can’t convince my body to…uh…excrete… in the squatty potty… I always get a bit stopped up on missions trips. My body’s way of revolting, I suppose. I had to gently explain this to my hostess because she was getting offended at how little I was eating. I’m happy to say that, other than that, things are going exceptionally well!

Babu was just here informing me that so many of his friends are coming to visit, which is awesome, but keeps him from taking care of business that needs to be done. Pray that the Lord will help him squeeze 36 hours into a 24 hour day!

The other problem is the “new” camera I bought has decided it doesn’t like me. The flash no longer works, so in order to get any light whatsoever, I have to change the shutter speed, which of course makes things blurry. God has given me a creative mind, so I am trying to come up with new ways to throw light on my subjects!

I’m excited to announce that we are going to try to organize a “reunion” with a bunch of the kids that grew up in the orphanage I used to visit! There are at least 20 of them living near Palwesh and Taku and they have made quite a community family. It is wonderful to hear how they all stick together as a family unit. After they visited last night, Babu suggested that we work hard to get as many of the orphans together as possible. That will be WONDERFUL! Some of these kids I haven’t seen in 10 years! UN-BE-LIEVE-ABLE!

I am now in a room with 5 American kids that came last week and they will be here until Dec. 8th. They look to be about 12 years old. They are excited, yet beginning to experience culture shock. Bless their pea pickers.

Again, pray for our time that remains… pray we get all accomplished that needs to happen! Pray I find a western toilet soon…

**UPDATE** Since typing all that, the squatty potty & I have become better friends. (couldn't leave ya hangin', now could I?)

The Eagle has landed...



(this was written yesterday - but I am only now able to get to an internet cafe)

Well, after over 24 hours in transit, we arrived in Delhi at last! (granted, 8 of those hours were spent waiting in airports!) We landed a half an hour early, breezed through customs and had all of our bags arrive with us! Definitely a GOOD day! (quite shocking, actually, if you know ANYTHING about how things happen in India!) We discovered this morning that they did not ask me for some paperwork that was securely tucked inside my passport… ooopsie!

We were greeted by my dear friend Palwesh and another friend of his that grew up in the orphanage I used to visit. It breaks my heart that I cannot return there to visit, however, I have found out that there are only 190 children there (as opposed to the 1400 that were there before!) so I may not even know any of the children that are there today.

My accommodations are meager, but comfortable. I have not one, but TWO fans in my room!! (so anyone that knows me, knows I am in hog heaven!) However, to compensate with that slice of heaven, they only have a squatty potty here… If you don’t know what I am referring to, PLEASE check out this link so you can fully understand my plight! But God is good, and it all works out in the wash and all that other blah, blah, blah… I’m just happy to be here!

I slept almost the entire flight from Chicago to Delhi with the help of Benedryl! (Babu said he was jealous!) Then when we arrived here at the house, I took more & slept off & on all night. He hasn’t slept much, so will force himself to stay awake today and take Benedryl tonight in attempts to catch up. He has a lot to do in the coming weeks, so please keep him in your prayers! Pray for favor & grace as he deals with officials in attempts of establishing the second Asha Mission home.

Babu has just left with a copy of my passport. Apparently, the local authorities have to be made known of my existence! Helps them have more of a controlling edge on what is going on in their community, I guess. He has put minutes on a cell phone that I can use while I am here. In India (as it is in most countries other than ours) you don’t get charged for incoming calls, only outgoing. If you are interested in having the number, please send me a note. You should check with your provider to find out about international charges (it can be quite expensive).

There are 3 new children at the orphanage - they just came last week. I mention it now because the little boy, who speaks only Bihari, is standing next to me watching me type this. He has an amazing smile, and, believe it or not, is named Santos. This is him...
Who knew this was a Bihari name!?! Koman and Simrian are the girls names. They are sisters. There father died recently and their mother could no longer afford to take care of them. They are quite sad, but of course, I am doing my best to bring them out of their shell. Santos & Koman are old enough to go to school, but because they moved here so late in the school year, officials will not allow them to attend. They are trying to get them into a small, local government school (our equivalent to public school) - while the other children go to a “public” school which is equivalent to our private schools. They pay over $500 a month for the children to attend there. Pray specifically that Babu can meet with a lady that operates a nice, Christian school here in Delhi. He would LOVE for these children to attend her school, but it is quite expensive. If God can move mountains, He can surely arrange this, right?

The pastor (Saji) and his sweet wife (Gracie) take impeccable care of these children despite their humble surroundings. It is a nice, family atmosphere.

There isn’t much for me to do, so I have spent some time here on Babu’s laptop typing out this message. I’ll then save it to a flash drive and we’ll eventually visit an internet café where I can upload it to my blog… EVERYTHING in India takes at least 5 times longer than in the states!

In the coming weeks, I hope to spend some time with a childhood friend who is working with another ministry here in Delhi. She’s been here a couple of years. The ONLY thing she asked me to bring her from the states was brown sugar! Can you believe that?

Stay tuned.....

Sunday, September 21, 2008

777...

Well, we are on the plane & it is a 777! How's that for a godly assignment! We are sitting right on the wing - blocks the view, but, that's ok with me as I plan on having my eyes shut for a good portion of the trip!

We will arrive about 6:00am Monday morning EST time (8:30 pm Delhi time) Please pray for safe travel & EASY entrance into the country...

will update as often as I can... Love you all....

Fixin' to Fly Lewis

Off we go...!!!

Well - the waiting begins! We are delayed leaving Ft. Myers by a half hour :-( Oh well, more time to walk around before the marathon flight (14 hours!!) to Delhi! The plane must not be too big because the seats are in a 2 - 5 - 2 formation. Babu & I will sit together in one of the outer 2 seat sides, so that will be nice! (I HATE stepping over people to go potty or walk about!)

Delhi is 10 & a half hours ahead of Fort Myers time, so we will arrive at about 6:00am your time tomorrow (Monday) morning. (8:30 pm Delhi time)

My dear friend, Julie, will be coming to visit during the 6 hour wait at O'Hare... It will be wonderful to catch up!

Please continue to pray for our safety & for smooth & easy flights!

The journey is just beginning!

Blessings-
anita

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Cleansing...

God is doing a great work in me.

Weeding through the clutter in my innermost being has been a daily process. Sometimes that cleasing comes with tears: tears of grief, tears of disappointment... Sometimes even tears of joy!

Worshipping "in Spirit and in Truth" has become a new priority... Enough "playing church" (can I get an Amen?)

Over the next weeks, please pray for:

*my dear friends, Babu & Lijy. Babu & I will be traveling to India together (hence why HE needs prayer!!) Lijy recently had a beautiful baby girl, and she is still recovering. Lijy's parents are here from India helping take care of her and their 3 daughters while we are gone. Pray that they remain healthy & safe in Babu's absence.

*my health, specifically freedom from headaches caused by Chiari Syndrome - I need COMPLETE healing!

*safety as we will be doing a LOT of traveling during the next month.

*my Dad... He only "permits" me to go on these trips because he knows that years ago, he entrusted me into the Lord's care. He is doing well, yet has some health concerns.

*Indian believers. As you may know, times are VERY difficult for Indian Christians. Persecution is unfathomable to those of us who were fortunate enough to grow up in the US. Pray we can encourage our brothers & sisters (however, it is most often ME that walks away encouraged because of the faith of these remarkable people!)

you are loved...
a

Monday, September 8, 2008

Additional info on AMS....

Several of you have written asking for more information about Asha Mission Society... here is a newsletter we put out several months ago...




Sunday, September 7, 2008

Asha Mission Society...

Please take a few moments and watch this video that was put together SO well!


These are the children of Asha Mission Society's first orphanage in New Delhi, India. I have the incredible pleasure of serving on the board for this God ordained ministry. I will be spending about 3 weeks with these children in the upcoming month and also scouting out a location for a second home for orphaned and abandoned children in Calcutta... I covet your prayers during this long journey...

***PLEASE prayerfully consider making a tax deductible donation to help offset the cost of this trip and to provide much needed supplies for these children and those that will soon be housed in Calcutta. You wouldn't believe what even $5 can buy in India! Checks can be made out to Asha Mission Society and please put my name in the subject line. They can be mailed to:
Asha Mission Society
**NOTE: I had the wrong address previously**
P.O. Box 61414
Ft. Myers, FL 33906
If you have ANY questions, please do not hesitate to contact me...

Many blessings to you and yours -
anita

Friday, August 29, 2008

my how time flies....

A month ago today, mom stepped out of this world and into Jesus' open arms. Can't believe it has passed so fast... There are still cluttery boxes all over my house. And a stack of thank you notes waiting to be written. Can't seem to make/take the time to get those things done...



On a lighter, happier note... I'm pleased to announce that I'll be making a trip to India soon!! My heart leaps just thinking about it!! Please pray for us as we travel - it's a LONG trip, but man! Is it ever worth it! I will be there for 3 weeks, spending time at our orphanage in Delhi (where we have 23 children) and visiting with some beloved old friends as well...

After 4 long years, I'm finally headed back to my heartland... If you desire to help offset the costs for that portion of my trip, or help us as we build up our second orphanage in Calcutta, tax deductible donations can be made to ASHA Mission Society - please let me know if you are interested in receiving more information about our ministry! We DESPERATELY need sponsors for these dear orphans!



Then I'll head over to Denmark to see my dear friends Kathrina and Morten and their 2 AMAZING boys Mikkel and Kasper! I cannot wait to visit them!!!



Last but not least, I will return in time for my 10 year college reunion at Liberty. (GULP!) There is NOTHING like fall in Lynchburg! Absolutely magical!


God is good! And I am one thankful pup that is VERY excited about what the future holds!


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Ikea is my friend...

I bought an Ikea bed frame this week (the Tolga model)

At this VERY moment, I am appreciating it more than I can put into words. Its low to the ground & has no head or foot board. I bought it specifically so my bed could fit under the windows in my room. Right now, I'm in bed with my window cracked so I can feel the wind, and watch & hear the trees shuffle about. My white sheer curtains are being tossed about over my head...

((sigh)) what a way to spend a morning...

Itty bitty storm Fay

Just a quick update - we are having some wind & rain, but nothing unbearable... (but we did get the day off! Woohoo!)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

One week...

One week ago (almost exactly) we said goodbye to mom... in some ways, it feels a lifetime ago, in others it was just yesterday...

Thank you so much for your cards, prayers & concern. My family is surrounded with amazing loved ones... I am overwhelmed...

A

Thursday, July 31, 2008

...but the sleep won't come...

I've been laying here for over an hour. I'm SO tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open while talking to Dad, so I turned in for the night. I've been this way since I was a kid. I finally get quiet (I know, its hard to believe since nobody has ever seen that side of me before!) and then my mind starts running at 150 mph.

This song popped into my head as I was laying here: (not sure that the words are verbatim, but you get the idea)

"Every road I've traveled down, you have walked before me, I've wandered far still there is far to go... But in my heart there is a longing, to look upon Your face, where You are is where I long to be..."

Isn't it awesome to think that Mom's there NOW!?! She's face to face with Jesus and, if my interpretation of scripture is correct, she's had an amazing reunion with my grandparents, other friends & relatives, but most of all, my sisters... I know she was so happy to hold her babies in her arms once again...

Hug them for me, Mom...

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Family news...

Hello my friends and family…

I am sending you this quick e-mail to let you know, if you hadn’t heard already, that my mom, “Weezie”, passed away yesterday morning. I am including in this e-mail the obituary that my aunt & I wrote so you have more information… Thank you for your prayers and concern… You are a blessing!

Much love, Anita

W. Louise "Weezie" Amos Lewis Berkley, 65, went to be with her Lord on July 29, 2008 after a three year battle with lung cancer.

Born in Barwick, GA on January 25, 1943 to the late Frank Amos and the late Violet Amos Myers, Louise moved to Lee County with her family in 1945. She graduated from Fort Myers Senior High School in 1961 and took great pleasure in meeting old friends at annual class reunions. Louise was a long time member of Riverside Church. Her employers included United Telephone Company, Hole Montes, and the School District of Lee County.

Preceding her in death were daughters, Angeline and Angie Lewis, and sister Frances Amos Barber. She is survived by her daughter, Anita L. Lewis of Fort Myers and siblings, Nelson (Korin) Amos of Ypsilanti, MI, Janette (Brian) Christensen of North Fort Myers, Keith (Linda) Amos of Coral Springs, and Beverly (Kevin) Nobles of Alva, and many adored nieces and nephews. Her nieces and nephews meant the world to her. Even while battling cancer, she would do all she could to attend their weddings, graduations and other special events. Family was the most important thing to Louise. For the last 8 months or so, the local family members would gather and have dinner together every Wednesday night. She often commented about how much these outings meant to her.

Family and friends are invited to gather from 4:00-7:00 PM on Friday, August 1st at First Assembly of God, 4701 Colonial Avenue, Fort Myers with funeral services beginning at 6:00. (Private interment)

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to First Assembly of God, Riverside Church, or Hope Hospice of Fort Myers.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Services for mom...

Visitation for mom will be held Friday from 4-6 and the main service will be at 6:00pm at in the main sanctuary at First Assembly of God (click for directions) in Fort Myers.

We look forward to seeing you!

Your calls & notes are SO appreciated... just be patient with me as I return them! =0)

entering heaven's glory....

It is with tears of both joy and sadness that I write this morning... Mom went to be with the Lord just a few minutes ago. She fought hard and left this world with a bunch of her family nearby, keeping watch over her...

Please continue to pray for me and the rest of our clan as we make arrangements and such...

We'll see you again, Mom... we love you!

W. Louise Berkley
Jan. 25, 1943 - July 29, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bedside vigil...

Just a fast update - sitting at moms bedside. It seems that tonight may mark her homegoing. Please pray for our family as we simply sit & wait...

Friday, July 25, 2008

settling in for a long winters nap...

Mom hasn't shown much movement or communication in the last 12+ hours. At 7:00 this morning, she said "thank you, baby" to Aunt Janette as she repositioned her on the bed. I know I speak for my two aunts and myself when I say those are the moments we will hold on to...

I don't know what I would've done without my aunts during this time. They have been so helpful and supportive... They daily show Christ's love in sacrificing of their time and energy to help mom. I know they will receive many jewels in their crowns for their loving service.

It may sound morbid, but I spent time working on mom's obituary today. I hate throwing things together at the last minute, so I thought I'd get a jump start on it. It was easier than I expected until I started writing about mom's love for her family. I have been so blessed to have grown up being related to such amazing people.

The Hospice nurse came this morning. Mom's blood pressure was 80/60. Every time I walk into her room, I first check to see if she is still breathing. This isn't a fun place to be, but I know that eventually mom will slip into eternity and all of her suffering and exhaustion will be over... for that, I am thankful...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"I want to see Mama..."

I always thought those deathbed scenes in movies were hokey. But tonight, I look at them very differently.

Mom slept all day. Not even waking to take the Lorazepam that she's been taking every 2 hours or so. When I got home from choir practice tonight, she was awake & struggling to talk to Aunt Janette & I. I convinced her to drink a little bit of a strawberry ensure (which she DESPISES, but appeases me by taking a few sips now & then)

Once again, it acted like a wonder drug (which we assume is because it brings her blood sugar up) & she suddenly became coherent. She told us that she loved us and that she appreciated us sitting with her all the time.

My dad walked & I asked her who it was. She said "I don't know, but he sure has big ears!" Ok, so she wasn't *completely* coherent...

She then reached her hand up to my face and started to cry. She said "I want to see Mama." Through tears, I told her I understood & that it was ok. She also asked a couple of times about Frances (her younger sister that died several years ago) wondering if she was here.

All the literature that Hospice has provided tells us that those that are in the end stages of life often seek permission to die... I feel that's what she was doing tonight. I told her we will be fine & asked her to hug Grandma, Aunt Fran and my 2 sisters for us when she sees them...

I believe it won't be long before she has her wish....

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Make new friends, but keep the old...

I am happy to report that we've had a couple of quiet days. We have been giving mom .5mg of Lorazepam about every 2 hours (if she's awake to take it) and that seems to help her rest. If she goes more than 3 hours without a dose, she awakens really agitated & tries to get out of bed. She's too weak to accomplish that, but she doesn't know it!

Leta, a dear friend of moms from years past, is here sitting with her tonight. Mom doesn't necessarily know who she is, but thanks all of us for sitting with her (during her rare semi-lucid moments). This gives my Aunt Janette a MUCH needed break. She and my Aunt Bev have been SUCH a tremendous help with mom. God truly blessed us with an amazing family!

A dear NEW friend of mine, Stephanie, came & gave my Aunt Janette & I massages tonight. Ain't nothing that soothes tired muscles and worn out emotions like a massage! (she is VERY good & VERY reasonable - contact me if you'd like her information!)

well, kids... I'm off to bed. That massage has me ready to drift off to sleep! Just had to take a minute to say THANK YOU to my family & friends that are all working so hard to make this incredibly difficult time much easier - you are all appreciated!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Bobo Credenza...

This morning as we sat looking out into the yard, mom said "do you see that little dog out there playing?" I said "yes ma'am. What's that dogs name?" She said "Bobo Credenza... Don't you know him?"

Friday, July 18, 2008

My funny family...

I just had to share (with her permission, of course) a funny moment with my sleep deprived Aunt Janette... (she has sacrificed of herself & spent the last three sleepless nights sitting up with mom - many props to her!)

anyway, I told her that two friends, A'Rucas & Tiah (props to you guys, too), were going to loan us a baby monitor. Her shocked expression coupled with "WHY?" kind of took me by surprise...

Suddenly, I realised she thought I was accepting a gift of a small lizard...

the awesome complexities of the brain...

Mom was getting really agitated again. She said "I just want a cigarette." So, being the dutiful daughter I am, I loaded Weeze into her wheelchair & took her to the back of the house where I could shut off the rest of the house & opened the door to outside. After letting her smoke ONE cigarette in MY house (I KNOW I WILL get jewels in my crown for that alone) I realized that her HOLDING an unlit one had the same effect! DANG IT!

We just had a polite chat as strangers on a train to Lakeland. She was going to visit Tony and his new wife (I have NO idea) but thinks she married him for his money.

Apparently I look JUST like her daughter so she took my picture with her tea glass. She called out "Nita! Nita! I want you to meet this girl!" She said "my daughter is so good. She's a great driver and a wonderful singer. She really took great care of me while I was sick" - I admit it... I cried a little...

We're off the train now & I have her back in bed. This has been a very difficult 24 hours. Its like play acting... except you realise quickly that she isn't acting. Today is the first time she hasn't known me... That was hard...

But for now, she sleeps...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Sundowners Syndrome...

Just doing some reading up to try to understand what was going on with mom tonight. My cousin Lorraine told me her mom had similar happen to her after a long battle with cancer. It was called Sundowners Syndrome. These websites contained some interesting information about it. Check them out when you get a chance:

http://alzheimers.aplaceformom.com/articles/sundowners-syndrome/

http://www.sundownerfacts.com/_symptoms/

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-sundowners-syndrome.htm

Moms mind is GONE. We may have to try to restrain her - was angry & tried to escape, going from door to door. Sleeping now

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ensure - the new wonder drug...

so... yesterday, mom slept most of the day. She tried to communicate, but we really couldn't understand more than "uh huh" & "un uh"... She's been more alert today, so we decided to give her a little more sustenance (a little jello , a little oatmeal , and some coffee ) Because of this food intake, I decided to check her blood sugar. (link shows you an article about normal levels) It was 38!

So I forced her to drink some Ensure (which she DESPISES!) and about 20 minutes later we could actually understand what she was saying (most of it, anyway)! She's napping now, but definitely feeling better!


thanks for praying!
Anita
Moms been awake since about 4 - she's been trying to talk & we can understand a little bit. Says she has no pain, PTL!

Midnight ramblings...

Just now, I sent my boss an email requesting a leave of absence. This is my explanation to him - I thought I'd share it with you:

I'm not in a position to leave mom - having a hard enough time falling asleep knowing she could be hurting & I'd never know it. That is what is unbearable to me. Losing her is not the worst part - because I know where she's going... I just can't bear for her to hurt or be lonely or afraid... That makes me weep...

I've often wondered about my passion for the world. I've come to the realization that I am STRONGLY moved by and long to end another human beings' suffering. Meeting their bodily needs extinguishes that IMMEDIATE suffering, however, introducing them to Christ can bring them peace that passes ALL understanding and put an end to a LIFETIME of suffering... Does that make sense?

As an aside: I went in to tell Mom goodnight & that I was headed to bed (the neurontin was kicking in & I was/am getting sleepy). She mumbled something, hence starting the game of asking her yes/no questions (ie: are you in pain? Do you want ice chips? etc.) She looked over at me once with a look on her face that SO evidently said "why the heck are you still here?" I grinned a cheesy grin at her & she flashed a gummy grin back! As gone as quickly as it appeared, it made Aunt Janette & I laugh! She then said "GO TO BED!" So even at her unhealthiest, she still feels the need to boss me around... Mothers! (geesh!)

nite...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

no news... is still news...

I appreciate SO much all the phone calls, texts and emails... I truly am blessed - first with the AMAZING family I was born into (on both sides of the parental scale) and the family I have inherited over the years in all of my travels...

Mom is resting comfortably. She sometimes responds to yes & no questions, but most of all, she sleeps.


On a funny note: this afternoon Hadi, my faithful pup, was barking at some of the MORONIC city workers (that's an entire story in itself) that have been paving, then tearing up, then repaving our street. Mom got VERY loud and told Hadi something that only the two of them understood! It was a riot! Even as she prepares to go heavenward, she still has a great sense of humor!

Thank you for you prayers... Our family is ready for mom's impending death, as we know SHE is ready for it... Make sure your family is as well!

Love y'all...
Anita

Update on Mom...

Just thought I would let you know of the changes that have happened in the last 12 or so hours. Mom appears to have had a stroke sometime during the night and is, for the most part, unresponsive. A nurse from Hospice has been out this morning and she found mom's pupils to be dilated and almost fixed... It seems that mom is in the "home" stretch and will soon see Jesus face to face.

Future updates will be posted to my blog www.nitalew.blogspot.com

Thank you so much for your prayers... I appreciate you all!

Much love,
Anita

It seems mom has had a stroke. We moved her into a hospital bed so she can be more comfy & I called her siblings. Pray on.
Moms exhibiting stroke-like symptoms this am - groaning, but not able to speak, sleeping hard. I have a call in to Hospice

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Catching up...

Since my last post, there have been several changes:

- I saw the surgeon & he dismissed me from his care. Said whatever that is going on in my throat is not surgical. I'm happy to report I haven't felt the pressure in my throat for days!

- last Sat. night, mom fell & was too weak to get up. At that point, I told her she no longer had a choice & the next day, we moved her into my house. Hospice brought some pain meds & I have stopped giving her some of her pills because its so hard for her to swallow them without choking.

she's had a couple of really good days, but this morning woke up very disoriented and refused to eat because everything tasted funny. She kept muttering "this bed is so crooked."

I have called Hospice & asked them to send someone to help me get her cleaned up a bit because she's too weak to sit up, none-the-less walk to the bathroom.

please keep us in your prayers as I feel today is going to be a long day...

A