One week later...

OK, so I should have taken off the ginormous bug-eye glasses... but here is a pic from our shopping excursion yesterday... It was SO stinkin' HOT out! But I haven't had much shopping time, and definitely have not had a lot of one-on-one time with Palwesh, so this was a nice date!

Ok, remember I told you that my flash isn't working on my camera... so you'll kinda have to use your imagination on the following pics. This is the "boys" room at the orphanage. The cooler in the girls room is not working, so all 22 kids are sleeping in one room... There are a minimum of 2 kids per bunk and then the rest are lined up on the floor. Anyone feel the need to donate $300 to purchase at least one more bunk bed? Please let me know! (if you really look closely, you'll see that the ceiling fan is EASILY reachable from the top bunk of the bunkbeds... makes me nervous!)

The kids continue to do well - I find it remarkable that they all get along so well, and in such a confined space! They are out of school this week due to Diwali but they don't care WHAT it's for!!! There is a great AIM team here that are going to come and do VBS this week, so I know they will enjoy that!

Tomorrow we will try to get new "specs" (glasses) for Ramlal Small (there is also a Ramlal Big!) - his vision is so bad, and his current specs are not the correct prescription anymore. Poor guy.

Ok, gotta scoot - the internet cafe closes at 9:30, so I only have a few more minutes... Thanks for following my silly blog... hopefully it somehow paints a picture of what my life here is like...

Baby dedication…

It was a wonderful Lord’s day here at Asha Mission Children’s home! Babu preached a wonderful message and also held his very first baby dedication for baby Asha. It was a beautiful celebration of her life and the miracle that she is…

You know, I have to give my dad a hard time when he fusses about me coming to India. I tell him “hey, it isn’t my fault that you dedicated me to the Lord when I was a baby!” He shakes his head & usually walks away from me at that point. (men just can’t handle defeat! )

Babu asked Palwesh to lead us in prayer during the service. His prayer, although in Hindi, was one of the most heartfelt and passionate prayers I have ever heard. It roused a lot of “Amen’s!” from those in the service. He truly is a man that is seeking God’s heart… He has a lot going on this week - please pray for favor & grace!!! I hope you all get to meet him one day soon!

Attempting to catch up on several days worth at one time here at the ol' internet cafe... It's WONDERFUL that Babu brought his laptop & I bought a flash drive before I left! I can type all this stuff out everyday and then simply cut & paste it into here! Thank you to those folks that are watching! Woohoo! It's like you're right here with me! Gonna try to catch some of my church's service online tonight - make sure they're getting along ok with out me! :) (Our website is http://www.famfm.com/ if you ever care to check it out... services stream live, but are also archived...

Tomorrow we are supposed to go to Jaipur and another place I can't spell... I am going to offer to stay behind at the orphanage with Grace & the kids so she won't be there overnight by herself. Unfortunately, she stumbled onto a burglar on the premises the week before we arrived & she's still a bit spooked. (don't worry, new safety precautions are in effect!!)

Then probably towards the end of the week, Babu & I will head to Kolkata to start work on the new orphanage site.

Blessings to you all!

No rest for the wicked… or something like that

After a wonderful day, I was worn out (not to mention that my head was still spinning from the discussion with Palwesh) and turned in for bed about 10:30. I awakened at 1:00am and could not, for the life of me, go back to sleep. So I did what any other red blooded American would do.. I started texting people. (it would have been 3:30 in the afternoon in Fort Myers). Needless to say, the next thing I knew, it was 5:00am and the kids were starting their morning routine. Their schedule is UNBELIEVABLE, It’s a little bit hard to read, but here is a picture of their daily routine (keep in mind, they also have school every other Saturday!)

I am SO tired now (I’m typing this at 9:30am my time, midnight EST) I can barely keep my eyes open. Thank the Lord for STRONG chai (love, love, LOVE it!!) and “black” coffee (no milk, but enough sugar to put a diabetic into a coma!) Hopefully I will get to the internet café today to post this.

We are going to go to the children’s school in a few minutes and pay up their school bill. It costs approximately $20 per month to send each child to school. Many of them have ‘educational sponsors,’ but this does not cover their day to day expenses. Would you consider sponsoring one of these precious kids? Or maybe one of the children we are hoping to rescue in Kolkata…? We hope to journey there in a few days via plane (it’s actually only $50 more to fly than to be on a train for over 24 hours… heck yeah, we’re flyin’!) Pray we find a WONDERFUL, inexpensive place for the new orphanage! As I have said before, you have NO idea how far an American dollar goes in India… For instance, Babu had to take some passport type photos for a banking transaction he was doing. He will receive 20 photos for 30 rupees. Right now, the exchange rate is 45 rupees to one dollar!!! In case you were wondering, it costs about $8.95 for TWO passport pictures at Walgreens in Fort Myers.

**update: the two sisters that came in to the orphanage last week are really warming up to everyone. I try to spend extra time with them to try to help get them better acclimated.

A life changing prayer request...

I am in my room listening to 22 orphans sing “He knows my name. He hears my every thought. He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call…” What a beautiful picture of who these children are… kids that trust that their heavenly Father cares for them, even if their own earthly father did not… Amazing how Americans have a difficult time trusting that God will never leave or forsake them, but these abandoned children grasp it heartily…remarkably thought provoking & touching…

Spent most of today with some of the now grown children I knew from the other orphanage… Sarika worked very hard and made us a wonderful meal! In this picture (left to right) are Sarika (Palwesh’s sister), Palwesh, Babu CJ and Pastor Saji Abraham.

Many of you have heard stories about Palwesh, and the very interesting relationship that we have shared over the last 5 years. Since my last trip here in 2004, we have maintained steady telephone communication and our friendship has continued to grow. I came to India convinced that ‘friendship’ was all we were to share. I even had some friends joke with me saying “don’t you come back married to that guy!” I really had no idea that our mutual feelings for each other would still be as strong as they were when I saw him last. However… (those dreaded ellipses)

At this point, all I will say is - PLEASE pray with us for guidance, wisdom and favor as we seek the Lord about what comes next.

Palwesh delivered me (via rickshaw) back to home base around 5:30 and I helped several of the children with their homework.

Tomorrow I will go do some shopping (let’s call it Squatty Potty therapy, shall we?) with Grace, the house mother here. She & I have become amazingly close in a few short days. I think she craves some adult conversation (plus I help her with her English skills!) J She is unbelievably hard working - I push her to take rest during the day… I think she appreciates it!

"Folks that listen"...

See the Folks that Listen widget (no, I don't know what it means either) on the left hand side of the screen? Why not join in & let me know you're reading?

Blessings-
A

Some pictures...

Babu and Asha - the baby that came to Asha Mission society at 3 days old!

The unbelievable electrical system...

Grace, the Momma of the house... Behind her is something they call a "cooler" which uses water pulled from the air to help cool a room. I have one for my room as well. This picture was taken from my bedroom door...

I love this picture. It gives you a glimpse into the poverty, yet the bright colors of India. This was taken on the roof where the children's bathroom is located. One boy recently fell from the roof & almost died. The doctors couldn't believe he survived!

Another shot from the roof - Take note of the reflection...

And of course, I had to get one picture on here with Asha and her Anitha Auntie... (yes, that's how they spell my name here!)

Wednesday - we’re halfway through & you haven’t even started…

I have to warn you first, some of the following could be too much information (TMI) for some people…

I love Indian food. I don’t care what region it is from, there is very little that I have found that I don’t like. One of those things are “pickles.” Nasty. Anyway… I have found that my appetite is minimal because (here’s where the TMI comes in) I can’t convince my body to…uh…excrete… in the squatty potty… I always get a bit stopped up on missions trips. My body’s way of revolting, I suppose. I had to gently explain this to my hostess because she was getting offended at how little I was eating. I’m happy to say that, other than that, things are going exceptionally well!

Babu was just here informing me that so many of his friends are coming to visit, which is awesome, but keeps him from taking care of business that needs to be done. Pray that the Lord will help him squeeze 36 hours into a 24 hour day!

The other problem is the “new” camera I bought has decided it doesn’t like me. The flash no longer works, so in order to get any light whatsoever, I have to change the shutter speed, which of course makes things blurry. God has given me a creative mind, so I am trying to come up with new ways to throw light on my subjects!

I’m excited to announce that we are going to try to organize a “reunion” with a bunch of the kids that grew up in the orphanage I used to visit! There are at least 20 of them living near Palwesh and Taku and they have made quite a community family. It is wonderful to hear how they all stick together as a family unit. After they visited last night, Babu suggested that we work hard to get as many of the orphans together as possible. That will be WONDERFUL! Some of these kids I haven’t seen in 10 years! UN-BE-LIEVE-ABLE!

I am now in a room with 5 American kids that came last week and they will be here until Dec. 8th. They look to be about 12 years old. They are excited, yet beginning to experience culture shock. Bless their pea pickers.

Again, pray for our time that remains… pray we get all accomplished that needs to happen! Pray I find a western toilet soon…

**UPDATE** Since typing all that, the squatty potty & I have become better friends. (couldn't leave ya hangin', now could I?)

The Eagle has landed...

(this was written yesterday - but I am only now able to get to an internet cafe)

Well, after over 24 hours in transit, we arrived in Delhi at last! (granted, 8 of those hours were spent waiting in airports!) We landed a half an hour early, breezed through customs and had all of our bags arrive with us! Definitely a GOOD day! (quite shocking, actually, if you know ANYTHING about how things happen in India!) We discovered this morning that they did not ask me for some paperwork that was securely tucked inside my passport… ooopsie!

We were greeted by my dear friend Palwesh and another friend of his that grew up in the orphanage I used to visit. It breaks my heart that I cannot return there to visit, however, I have found out that there are only 190 children there (as opposed to the 1400 that were there before!) so I may not even know any of the children that are there today.

My accommodations are meager, but comfortable. I have not one, but TWO fans in my room!! (so anyone that knows me, knows I am in hog heaven!) However, to compensate with that slice of heaven, they only have a squatty potty here… If you don’t know what I am referring to, PLEASE check out this link so you can fully understand my plight! But God is good, and it all works out in the wash and all that other blah, blah, blah… I’m just happy to be here!

I slept almost the entire flight from Chicago to Delhi with the help of Benedryl! (Babu said he was jealous!) Then when we arrived here at the house, I took more & slept off & on all night. He hasn’t slept much, so will force himself to stay awake today and take Benedryl tonight in attempts to catch up. He has a lot to do in the coming weeks, so please keep him in your prayers! Pray for favor & grace as he deals with officials in attempts of establishing the second Asha Mission home.

Babu has just left with a copy of my passport. Apparently, the local authorities have to be made known of my existence! Helps them have more of a controlling edge on what is going on in their community, I guess. He has put minutes on a cell phone that I can use while I am here. In India (as it is in most countries other than ours) you don’t get charged for incoming calls, only outgoing. If you are interested in having the number, please send me a note. You should check with your provider to find out about international charges (it can be quite expensive).

There are 3 new children at the orphanage - they just came last week. I mention it now because the little boy, who speaks only Bihari, is standing next to me watching me type this. He has an amazing smile, and, believe it or not, is named Santos. This is him...
Who knew this was a Bihari name!?! Koman and Simrian are the girls names. They are sisters. There father died recently and their mother could no longer afford to take care of them. They are quite sad, but of course, I am doing my best to bring them out of their shell. Santos & Koman are old enough to go to school, but because they moved here so late in the school year, officials will not allow them to attend. They are trying to get them into a small, local government school (our equivalent to public school) - while the other children go to a “public” school which is equivalent to our private schools. They pay over $500 a month for the children to attend there. Pray specifically that Babu can meet with a lady that operates a nice, Christian school here in Delhi. He would LOVE for these children to attend her school, but it is quite expensive. If God can move mountains, He can surely arrange this, right?

The pastor (Saji) and his sweet wife (Gracie) take impeccable care of these children despite their humble surroundings. It is a nice, family atmosphere.

There isn’t much for me to do, so I have spent some time here on Babu’s laptop typing out this message. I’ll then save it to a flash drive and we’ll eventually visit an internet café where I can upload it to my blog… EVERYTHING in India takes at least 5 times longer than in the states!

In the coming weeks, I hope to spend some time with a childhood friend who is working with another ministry here in Delhi. She’s been here a couple of years. The ONLY thing she asked me to bring her from the states was brown sugar! Can you believe that?

Stay tuned.....

777...

Well, we are on the plane & it is a 777! How's that for a godly assignment! We are sitting right on the wing - blocks the view, but, that's ok with me as I plan on having my eyes shut for a good portion of the trip!

We will arrive about 6:00am Monday morning EST time (8:30 pm Delhi time) Please pray for safe travel & EASY entrance into the country...

will update as often as I can... Love you all....

Fixin' to Fly Lewis

Off we go...!!!

Well - the waiting begins! We are delayed leaving Ft. Myers by a half hour :-( Oh well, more time to walk around before the marathon flight (14 hours!!) to Delhi! The plane must not be too big because the seats are in a 2 - 5 - 2 formation. Babu & I will sit together in one of the outer 2 seat sides, so that will be nice! (I HATE stepping over people to go potty or walk about!)

Delhi is 10 & a half hours ahead of Fort Myers time, so we will arrive at about 6:00am your time tomorrow (Monday) morning. (8:30 pm Delhi time)

My dear friend, Julie, will be coming to visit during the 6 hour wait at O'Hare... It will be wonderful to catch up!

Please continue to pray for our safety & for smooth & easy flights!

The journey is just beginning!

Blessings-
anita

Cleansing...

God is doing a great work in me.

Weeding through the clutter in my innermost being has been a daily process. Sometimes that cleasing comes with tears: tears of grief, tears of disappointment... Sometimes even tears of joy!

Worshipping "in Spirit and in Truth" has become a new priority... Enough "playing church" (can I get an Amen?)

Over the next weeks, please pray for:

*my dear friends, Babu & Lijy. Babu & I will be traveling to India together (hence why HE needs prayer!!) Lijy recently had a beautiful baby girl, and she is still recovering. Lijy's parents are here from India helping take care of her and their 3 daughters while we are gone. Pray that they remain healthy & safe in Babu's absence.

*my health, specifically freedom from headaches caused by Chiari Syndrome - I need COMPLETE healing!

*safety as we will be doing a LOT of traveling during the next month.

*my Dad... He only "permits" me to go on these trips because he knows that years ago, he entrusted me into the Lord's care. He is doing well, yet has some health concerns.

*Indian believers. As you may know, times are VERY difficult for Indian Christians. Persecution is unfathomable to those of us who were fortunate enough to grow up in the US. Pray we can encourage our brothers & sisters (however, it is most often ME that walks away encouraged because of the faith of these remarkable people!)

you are loved...
a

Additional info on AMS....

Several of you have written asking for more information about Asha Mission Society... here is a newsletter we put out several months ago...

Asha Mission Society...

Please take a few moments and watch this video that was put together SO well!

These are the children of Asha Mission Society's first orphanage in New Delhi, India. I have the incredible pleasure of serving on the board for this God ordained ministry. I will be spending about 3 weeks with these children in the upcoming month and also scouting out a location for a second home for orphaned and abandoned children in Calcutta... I covet your prayers during this long journey...

***PLEASE prayerfully consider making a tax deductible donation to help offset the cost of this trip and to provide much needed supplies for these children and those that will soon be housed in Calcutta. You wouldn't believe what even $5 can buy in India! Checks can be made out to Asha Mission Society and please put my name in the subject line. They can be mailed to:

Asha Mission Society
**NOTE: I had the wrong address previously**

P.O. Box 61414

Ft. Myers, FL 33906

If you have ANY questions, please do not hesitate to contact me...

Many blessings to you and yours -
anita

my how time flies....

A month ago today, mom stepped out of this world and into Jesus' open arms. Can't believe it has passed so fast... There are still cluttery boxes all over my house. And a stack of thank you notes waiting to be written. Can't seem to make/take the time to get those things done...



On a lighter, happier note... I'm pleased to announce that I'll be making a trip to India soon!! My heart leaps just thinking about it!! Please pray for us as we travel - it's a LONG trip, but man! Is it ever worth it! I will be there for 3 weeks, spending time at our orphanage in Delhi (where we have 23 children) and visiting with some beloved old friends as well...

After 4 long years, I'm finally headed back to my heartland... If you desire to help offset the costs for that portion of my trip, or help us as we build up our second orphanage in Calcutta, tax deductible donations can be made to ASHA Mission Society - please let me know if you are interested in receiving more information about our ministry! We DESPERATELY need sponsors for these dear orphans!



Then I'll head over to Denmark to see my dear friends Kathrina and Morten and their 2 AMAZING boys Mikkel and Kasper! I cannot wait to visit them!!!



Last but not least, I will return in time for my 10 year college reunion at Liberty. (GULP!) There is NOTHING like fall in Lynchburg! Absolutely magical!


God is good! And I am one thankful pup that is VERY excited about what the future holds!

Ikea is my friend...

I bought an Ikea bed frame this week (the Tolga model)

At this VERY moment, I am appreciating it more than I can put into words. Its low to the ground & has no head or foot board. I bought it specifically so my bed could fit under the windows in my room. Right now, I'm in bed with my window cracked so I can feel the wind, and watch & hear the trees shuffle about. My white sheer curtains are being tossed about over my head...

((sigh)) what a way to spend a morning...

Itty bitty storm Fay

Just a quick update - we are having some wind & rain, but nothing unbearable... (but we did get the day off! Woohoo!)

One week...

One week ago (almost exactly) we said goodbye to mom... in some ways, it feels a lifetime ago, in others it was just yesterday...

Thank you so much for your cards, prayers & concern. My family is surrounded with amazing loved ones... I am overwhelmed...

A

...but the sleep won't come...

I've been laying here for over an hour. I'm SO tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open while talking to Dad, so I turned in for the night. I've been this way since I was a kid. I finally get quiet (I know, its hard to believe since nobody has ever seen that side of me before!) and then my mind starts running at 150 mph.

This song popped into my head as I was laying here: (not sure that the words are verbatim, but you get the idea)

"Every road I've traveled down, you have walked before me, I've wandered far still there is far to go... But in my heart there is a longing, to look upon Your face, where You are is where I long to be..."

Isn't it awesome to think that Mom's there NOW!?! She's face to face with Jesus and, if my interpretation of scripture is correct, she's had an amazing reunion with my grandparents, other friends & relatives, but most of all, my sisters... I know she was so happy to hold her babies in her arms once again...

Hug them for me, Mom...

Family news...

Hello my friends and family…

I am sending you this quick e-mail to let you know, if you hadn’t heard already, that my mom, “Weezie”, passed away yesterday morning. I am including in this e-mail the obituary that my aunt & I wrote so you have more information… Thank you for your prayers and concern… You are a blessing!

Much love, Anita

W. Louise "Weezie" Amos Lewis Berkley, 65, went to be with her Lord on July 29, 2008 after a three year battle with lung cancer.

Born in Barwick, GA on January 25, 1943 to the late Frank Amos and the late Violet Amos Myers, Louise moved to Lee County with her family in 1945. She graduated from Fort Myers Senior High School in 1961 and took great pleasure in meeting old friends at annual class reunions. Louise was a long time member of Riverside Church. Her employers included United Telephone Company, Hole Montes, and the School District of Lee County.

Preceding her in death were daughters, Angeline and Angie Lewis, and sister Frances Amos Barber. She is survived by her daughter, Anita L. Lewis of Fort Myers and siblings, Nelson (Korin) Amos of Ypsilanti, MI, Janette (Brian) Christensen of North Fort Myers, Keith (Linda) Amos of Coral Springs, and Beverly (Kevin) Nobles of Alva, and many adored nieces and nephews. Her nieces and nephews meant the world to her. Even while battling cancer, she would do all she could to attend their weddings, graduations and other special events. Family was the most important thing to Louise. For the last 8 months or so, the local family members would gather and have dinner together every Wednesday night. She often commented about how much these outings meant to her.

Family and friends are invited to gather from 4:00-7:00 PM on Friday, August 1st at First Assembly of God, 4701 Colonial Avenue, Fort Myers with funeral services beginning at 6:00. (Private interment)

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to First Assembly of God, Riverside Church, or Hope Hospice of Fort Myers.

Services for mom...

Visitation for mom will be held Friday from 4-6 and the main service will be at 6:00pm at in the main sanctuary at First Assembly of God (click for directions) in Fort Myers.

We look forward to seeing you!

Your calls & notes are SO appreciated... just be patient with me as I return them! =0)

entering heaven's glory....

It is with tears of both joy and sadness that I write this morning... Mom went to be with the Lord just a few minutes ago. She fought hard and left this world with a bunch of her family nearby, keeping watch over her...

Please continue to pray for me and the rest of our clan as we make arrangements and such...

We'll see you again, Mom... we love you!

W. Louise Berkley
Jan. 25, 1943 - July 29, 2008

Bedside vigil...

Just a fast update - sitting at moms bedside. It seems that tonight may mark her homegoing. Please pray for our family as we simply sit & wait...

settling in for a long winters nap...

Mom hasn't shown much movement or communication in the last 12+ hours. At 7:00 this morning, she said "thank you, baby" to Aunt Janette as she repositioned her on the bed. I know I speak for my two aunts and myself when I say those are the moments we will hold on to...

I don't know what I would've done without my aunts during this time. They have been so helpful and supportive... They daily show Christ's love in sacrificing of their time and energy to help mom. I know they will receive many jewels in their crowns for their loving service.

It may sound morbid, but I spent time working on mom's obituary today. I hate throwing things together at the last minute, so I thought I'd get a jump start on it. It was easier than I expected until I started writing about mom's love for her family. I have been so blessed to have grown up being related to such amazing people.

The Hospice nurse came this morning. Mom's blood pressure was 80/60. Every time I walk into her room, I first check to see if she is still breathing. This isn't a fun place to be, but I know that eventually mom will slip into eternity and all of her suffering and exhaustion will be over... for that, I am thankful...

"I want to see Mama..."

I always thought those deathbed scenes in movies were hokey. But tonight, I look at them very differently.

Mom slept all day. Not even waking to take the Lorazepam that she's been taking every 2 hours or so. When I got home from choir practice tonight, she was awake & struggling to talk to Aunt Janette & I. I convinced her to drink a little bit of a strawberry ensure (which she DESPISES, but appeases me by taking a few sips now & then)

Once again, it acted like a wonder drug (which we assume is because it brings her blood sugar up) & she suddenly became coherent. She told us that she loved us and that she appreciated us sitting with her all the time.

My dad walked & I asked her who it was. She said "I don't know, but he sure has big ears!" Ok, so she wasn't *completely* coherent...

She then reached her hand up to my face and started to cry. She said "I want to see Mama." Through tears, I told her I understood & that it was ok. She also asked a couple of times about Frances (her younger sister that died several years ago) wondering if she was here.

All the literature that Hospice has provided tells us that those that are in the end stages of life often seek permission to die... I feel that's what she was doing tonight. I told her we will be fine & asked her to hug Grandma, Aunt Fran and my 2 sisters for us when she sees them...

I believe it won't be long before she has her wish....

Make new friends, but keep the old...

I am happy to report that we've had a couple of quiet days. We have been giving mom .5mg of Lorazepam about every 2 hours (if she's awake to take it) and that seems to help her rest. If she goes more than 3 hours without a dose, she awakens really agitated & tries to get out of bed. She's too weak to accomplish that, but she doesn't know it!

Leta, a dear friend of moms from years past, is here sitting with her tonight. Mom doesn't necessarily know who she is, but thanks all of us for sitting with her (during her rare semi-lucid moments). This gives my Aunt Janette a MUCH needed break. She and my Aunt Bev have been SUCH a tremendous help with mom. God truly blessed us with an amazing family!

A dear NEW friend of mine, Stephanie, came & gave my Aunt Janette & I massages tonight. Ain't nothing that soothes tired muscles and worn out emotions like a massage! (she is VERY good & VERY reasonable - contact me if you'd like her information!)

well, kids... I'm off to bed. That massage has me ready to drift off to sleep! Just had to take a minute to say THANK YOU to my family & friends that are all working so hard to make this incredibly difficult time much easier - you are all appreciated!

Bobo Credenza...

This morning as we sat looking out into the yard, mom said "do you see that little dog out there playing?" I said "yes ma'am. What's that dogs name?" She said "Bobo Credenza... Don't you know him?"

My funny family...

I just had to share (with her permission, of course) a funny moment with my sleep deprived Aunt Janette... (she has sacrificed of herself & spent the last three sleepless nights sitting up with mom - many props to her!)

anyway, I told her that two friends, A'Rucas & Tiah (props to you guys, too), were going to loan us a baby monitor. Her shocked expression coupled with "WHY?" kind of took me by surprise...

Suddenly, I realised she thought I was accepting a gift of a small lizard...

the awesome complexities of the brain...

Mom was getting really agitated again. She said "I just want a cigarette." So, being the dutiful daughter I am, I loaded Weeze into her wheelchair & took her to the back of the house where I could shut off the rest of the house & opened the door to outside. After letting her smoke ONE cigarette in MY house (I KNOW I WILL get jewels in my crown for that alone) I realized that her HOLDING an unlit one had the same effect! DANG IT!

We just had a polite chat as strangers on a train to Lakeland. She was going to visit Tony and his new wife (I have NO idea) but thinks she married him for his money.

Apparently I look JUST like her daughter so she took my picture with her tea glass. She called out "Nita! Nita! I want you to meet this girl!" She said "my daughter is so good. She's a great driver and a wonderful singer. She really took great care of me while I was sick" - I admit it... I cried a little...

We're off the train now & I have her back in bed. This has been a very difficult 24 hours. Its like play acting... except you realise quickly that she isn't acting. Today is the first time she hasn't known me... That was hard...

But for now, she sleeps...

Sundowners Syndrome...

Just doing some reading up to try to understand what was going on with mom tonight. My cousin Lorraine told me her mom had similar happen to her after a long battle with cancer. It was called Sundowners Syndrome. These websites contained some interesting information about it. Check them out when you get a chance:

http://alzheimers.aplaceformom.com/articles/sundowners-syndrome/

http://www.sundownerfacts.com/_symptoms/

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-sundowners-syndrome.htm

Moms mind is GONE. We may have to try to restrain her - was angry & tried to escape, going from door to door. Sleeping now

Ensure - the new wonder drug...

so... yesterday, mom slept most of the day. She tried to communicate, but we really couldn't understand more than "uh huh" & "un uh"... She's been more alert today, so we decided to give her a little more sustenance (a little jello , a little oatmeal , and some coffee ) Because of this food intake, I decided to check her blood sugar. (link shows you an article about normal levels) It was 38!

So I forced her to drink some Ensure (which she DESPISES!) and about 20 minutes later we could actually understand what she was saying (most of it, anyway)! She's napping now, but definitely feeling better!


thanks for praying!
Anita

Moms been awake since about 4 - she's been trying to talk & we can understand a little bit. Says she has no pain, PTL!

Midnight ramblings...

Just now, I sent my boss an email requesting a leave of absence. This is my explanation to him - I thought I'd share it with you:

I'm not in a position to leave mom - having a hard enough time falling asleep knowing she could be hurting & I'd never know it. That is what is unbearable to me. Losing her is not the worst part - because I know where she's going... I just can't bear for her to hurt or be lonely or afraid... That makes me weep...

I've often wondered about my passion for the world. I've come to the realization that I am STRONGLY moved by and long to end another human beings' suffering. Meeting their bodily needs extinguishes that IMMEDIATE suffering, however, introducing them to Christ can bring them peace that passes ALL understanding and put an end to a LIFETIME of suffering... Does that make sense?

As an aside: I went in to tell Mom goodnight & that I was headed to bed (the neurontin was kicking in & I was/am getting sleepy). She mumbled something, hence starting the game of asking her yes/no questions (ie: are you in pain? Do you want ice chips? etc.) She looked over at me once with a look on her face that SO evidently said "why the heck are you still here?" I grinned a cheesy grin at her & she flashed a gummy grin back! As gone as quickly as it appeared, it made Aunt Janette & I laugh! She then said "GO TO BED!" So even at her unhealthiest, she still feels the need to boss me around... Mothers! (geesh!)

nite...

no news... is still news...

I appreciate SO much all the phone calls, texts and emails... I truly am blessed - first with the AMAZING family I was born into (on both sides of the parental scale) and the family I have inherited over the years in all of my travels...

Mom is resting comfortably. She sometimes responds to yes & no questions, but most of all, she sleeps.


On a funny note: this afternoon Hadi, my faithful pup, was barking at some of the MORONIC city workers (that's an entire story in itself) that have been paving, then tearing up, then repaving our street. Mom got VERY loud and told Hadi something that only the two of them understood! It was a riot! Even as she prepares to go heavenward, she still has a great sense of humor!

Thank you for you prayers... Our family is ready for mom's impending death, as we know SHE is ready for it... Make sure your family is as well!

Love y'all...
Anita

Update on Mom...

Just thought I would let you know of the changes that have happened in the last 12 or so hours. Mom appears to have had a stroke sometime during the night and is, for the most part, unresponsive. A nurse from Hospice has been out this morning and she found mom's pupils to be dilated and almost fixed... It seems that mom is in the "home" stretch and will soon see Jesus face to face.

Future updates will be posted to my blog www.nitalew.blogspot.com

Thank you so much for your prayers... I appreciate you all!

Much love,
Anita

It seems mom has had a stroke. We moved her into a hospital bed so she can be more comfy & I called her siblings. Pray on.

Moms exhibiting stroke-like symptoms this am - groaning, but not able to speak, sleeping hard. I have a call in to Hospice

Catching up...

Since my last post, there have been several changes:

- I saw the surgeon & he dismissed me from his care. Said whatever that is going on in my throat is not surgical. I'm happy to report I haven't felt the pressure in my throat for days!

- last Sat. night, mom fell & was too weak to get up. At that point, I told her she no longer had a choice & the next day, we moved her into my house. Hospice brought some pain meds & I have stopped giving her some of her pills because its so hard for her to swallow them without choking.

she's had a couple of really good days, but this morning woke up very disoriented and refused to eat because everything tasted funny. She kept muttering "this bed is so crooked."

I have called Hospice & asked them to send someone to help me get her cleaned up a bit because she's too weak to sit up, none-the-less walk to the bathroom.

please keep us in your prayers as I feel today is going to be a long day...

A

status update

As you can see, I'm *finally* getting a chance to send out a note at 10:30pm. I'm lying prostrate in my bed wondering where the day went..

The new job is great. Busy, but great. Its not technically a "new" job, but a LOT more responsibilities have been added (Music Dept.) to the jobI already had (Media Dept.). My boss, Pastor Mike, is a real character & we are constantly laughing... But he's also a military guy, so also we get a lot accomplished! He's great about allowing me a lot of flexibility with my schedule so I can continue to help mom, which is becoming more of a task than ever before. But its all good.

I'm feeling ok. My throat has been bothering me the last few days & I have an appt with the surgeon in the morning as a follow up to the CT he ordered a few weeks ago. He will decide what, if anything, we do from here.

I continue to take neurontin (link with a description to be added later, that is, if I remember!) nightly and other meds during the day for the headaches. The only thing that will "cure" my Chiari Malformation is Divine Healing (please, Lord!) or neuro-surgery, so the meds will have to do for now!

Dad is doing well. He's been a huge help in regards to mom. Don't know what I'd do without him...

Please keep praying. God listens!

a

Tough days ahead...

Well, the CT's proved what I had already suspected. Mom has numerous tumors in her abdominal cavity which are causing her great discomfort. It also showed a clot in her abdominal aorta.

Mom wants to start radiation right away because she feels it lessens her pain. They will be working her up for the new radiation areas today.

I'm seeing a deterioration almost daily in her memory, motor skills and overall health. I now have to really watch her with her medications, otherwise she does not take them, or takes them too often. I'm trying to convince her to move in with me. She adamantly refuses, so trying to allow her to keep her independence yet keeping her safe are a constant battle.

Yesterday she drove to church (against my previous warnings not to drive) & arrived 45 minutes early, very confused & agitated. Luckily I happened to be in the lobby & saw her approaching. Long story short, I have taken her car keys away from her. Fortunately, she doesn't care to drive too much, but it is still stripping her of a bit of her independence...

Please keep us all in your prayers. I can't imagine what's going on in her mind when she's alone. (however, I am surprisingly thankful for the "dementia-ish" symptoms she's having, because I think comprehending all of this would have the potential to be entirely too overwhelming.) Pray that I can continue to balance her health, my (new) job & my own health issues without going stark raving mad!

We should be proud...

you MUST check this out...

from: http://www.nbc-2.com/Articles/readarticle.asp?articleid=20039&z=3

Fort Myers is tenth ‘sweatiest city’

FORT MYERS: Old Spice has announced the seventh annual Top-100 Sweatiest Cities List to mark the beginning of summer. Fort Myers is number 10.

The Sweatiest Cities rankings are based on computer simulations of the amount of sweat a person of average height and weight would produce walking around for an hour in the average temperatures during June, July and August of 2007 for each city.

The top 10 sweatiest cities from Old Spice’s list are:

Phoenix, AZ
Las Vegas, NV
Tallahassee, FL
Tucson, AZ
Memphis, TN
Miami, FL
Houston, TX
Tampa, FL
Baton Rouge, LA
Fort Myers, FL

...crawling out from under a rock...

Greetings from the hot, mugginess of June in Fort Myers...

there's quite a bit to update & not much time:

• Mom is really not feeling well. Her abdomen is causing her quite a bit of discomfort and her mind is not wanting to function correctly. Making sure she takes her daily meds is becoming more of a chore... but God is good! Hopefully today we will get the results of a CT scan that was taken on Friday to see if they can identify the cause of her abdominal pain.
• On Saturday, I took the day to just rest & relax at the house. Saturday evening, I realised that the pressure in my throat that had become a constant companion was GONE! It has been almost 4 days and it still is GONE! I was actually able to sing at choir practice last night! Woohoo!
• I am starting a "new" job this week here at the church. I will now be the Music/Media Dept. Admin. Asst. (I hate the word 'secretary'. It's just so... something) Big changes afoot - PLEASE keep our church in your prayers!
• Make sure to check out my cousins latest video on the left side of your screen entitles "Working it Out." HA-LAR-IOUS!

Love you all! Thank you for your prayers!

Gotta love the Welsh...

"Two American tourists are driving through Wales. They decided to stop for a bite to eat in the village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.*

Baffled by the name, one of them turns to a local and asks, "Would you please say where we are - very slowly?"

The Welshman leans over and says, very slowly, "Burrr-gerrr Kinngg."

*yes! This is a real place! www.llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.com/

Delays and other facts of life...

Sorry for the lack of communication, but things have been hectic... Here's the scoop, bulletized for your viewing pleasure:

• Mom's still deteriorating at a steady pace. The MRI's found a small tumor in her spinal cord which the dr. began treating with radiation yesterday. It is very difficult for her to lie flat and perfectly still for the two doses (throat and now spine) so they will now be giving her a 20 minute break (or however long she needs) between each dose. We think that will help. She's constantly jittery (due to nerves and decadron - a steroid) and is smoking WAAY too much. At this point, what do you do? It may be her only source of comfort, besides the numerous meds she is on. She continues to be miserable.

• She lost another 5 lbs as of yesterday. She is down to 119lbs. Please pray that the decadron will do as does for most people and increase her appetite. Nothing sounds good or tastes good to her anymore.

• Mom's friend, Jan, has been here for several weeks and heads home June 10th. She has been a godsend in regards to preparing meals for mom and encouraging her to eat. That's a blessing!

• Ultrasound showed a "complex cystic lesion" on my thyroid. Supposedly, it is too small to be causing the irritation and pressure in my neck, so my ENT suggests it "may" be something called Globus Hystericus or Globus Laryngeus which can be caused by acid reflux (guilty) and stress (um... maybe a little). I am getting it checked out further under the advisement of several health professionals... It is well with my soul!
  

• I appreciate you for reading this and praying for out family. Bit by bit, Satan keeps trying to tear us down with physical maladies... but I know (and we collectively know as a family) that GOD is good. That He knows ALL of the plans He has for us. And they are GREAT plans that will prosper us and give us a future! Amen!
  

"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant"

Along the line of enjoying foreigners comes this fun tidbit. I've seen this printed on chopstick wrappers in Chinese restaurants in several states and always worded (and erroneously spelled) the same:

"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant. please try your Nice Chinese Food Wih Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history and cultual."

Not for the faint of heart...

Woke up at 5:15 & can't go back to sleep. My head is whirling with all that is going on and filled with things that need to be taken care of...

Mom's health has begun to rapidly deteriorate over the last few days. I wouldn't say she's "given up" per se, more like her body is falling apart faster than she can keep up. Took her for 4 MRI's yesterday which took a couple of hours. (these are to see if the cancer has spread to her spine and/or belly because she has pain & we can't locate the source) She was miserable.

She's not eating enough. She lost 4lbs in the last few weeks (& doesn't have extra to spare!) Her appetite was already non-existent, but now she has pain in her lower abdomen on top of that.

She is scheduled to start radiation on Tuesday on the rapidly growing tumor on her neck. My concerns here are the potential (& most likely) "burning" of her esophogas (its waaay too early to worry about spelling!) which is terribly painful & will lead her to eat less than she already is.

Dad is doing well. He, being the trooper he is, gave up his room and is staying at his house in North Ft. Myers so mom's friend, Jan, could stay here while she visits from the Chicago area.

In other news, I have felt a weird pressure (for lack of better words) in my throat for a couple of weeks that would come & go at random. Yesterday, it stuck around all day so I decided to go to the Dr & have it checked. She is sending me for blood work & an ultrasound because she thinks it may be nodules on my thryoid. Honestly, what else could happen?

Please continue to lift Mom, Dad & myself up in your prayers - there seem to be rougher waters ahead & I'm not sure I currently have the strength to stay afloat...

An unusual update...

LewisKid1 (8:48:14 AM): you there, Sunshine?

"DP" (8:48:25 AM): I am

"DP" (8:48:28 AM): What's up?

"DP"  (8:48:33 AM): How's your mom?

LewisKid1 (8:48:54 AM): starting radiation again next week...

"DP"  (8:50:07 AM): What is the radiation for?  The tumors in her neck?

LewisKid1 (8:50:33 AM): yeah - unfortunately it has doubled in size despite chemo

LewisKid1 (8:50:39 AM): and there are at least 2 new tumors

LewisKid1 (8:50:49 AM): one under her collar bone and one in her breast

LewisKid1 (8:51:06 AM): they are running MRI's tom. to see if its in her spine and/or belly

"DP"  (8:51:11 AM): oh dear

"DP"  (8:51:17 AM): I know you must be worried sick

LewisKid1 (8:51:32 AM): not really - I mean... thank the Lord she isn't in a lot of pain

LewisKid1 (8:51:46 AM): and we have the best care in the world for her, you know

LewisKid1 (8:51:56 AM): worrying doesn't get you anywhere...

"DP"  (8:52:00 AM): Very true

"DP"  (8:52:08 AM): I'm glad she's not in pain

LewisKid1 (8:52:26 AM): mom's mind isn't really clear, so I don't think she gets the full extent of this

LewisKid1 (8:52:35 AM): but I think that's a blessing in disguise

"DP"  (8:53:04 AM): Does she think she's getting better?

LewisKid1 (8:53:30 AM): I think in the back of her mind, she's thinking they can "cure" her like they did the lung cancer

LewisKid1 (8:53:49 AM): but you know, whether it's denial or FAITH, God can do amazing things!

"DP"  (8:53:55 AM): Yes He can

 

 

 

Some randoms from Becca's Graduation...

Violet and her GREAT-Granddaddy!

The rather surprised graduate, Becca!
(Doesn't she look like a model?)

Aunt Weeze (my mom, in case you didn't know) & Becca

Aunt Janette & Becca
(BONUS: when I was a kid, I thought her name was spelled "Ann Chunette")

Becca's hubby, Chris & I

Looks like bacon to me...

In moms radiologist office now getting the results of her most recent MRI's - no new cancer! Woohoo! Doesn't explain the pain in her leg & shoulder, but that can be otherwise managed... This is GREAT news!

Will send her for a follow up brain MRI in about 3 months to check the status of that tumor (which is GONE in Jesus' name!)

thanks for your prayers!

Almost forgot...

Mom's one "blood clot" multiplied into 2 spots in the last few days. The nurse feels it might be flebitis (sp?) instead of a clot... Time will tell. Otherwise, she is feeling well & her blood counts are staying up where they should be, PRAISE THE LORD!

Hadi, my precious pup, is doing MUCH better. She had, believe it or not, her first chiropractic adjustment (with a shout out to Dr. RW - I use initials only because he *might* not want to be known as the Dog Whispering Chiropractor)

Haven't heard about dads x-ray (looking for kidney stones) yet... Will keep you posted!

(since I now know the picture thing works, I have attached a couple of pics of Hadi at her favorite place, the beach!)

Family time...

I'm happy to announce that my sweet cousin, Becca, graduated from nursing school with her RN last night! We are so proud of her! She had a crowd of like 15 people there to cheer her on... Good times!

Bethany (her older sister) came in from Austin, TX for the occasion with sweet baby Violet in tow. I'm trying something new by attaching a picture to this e-post & we'll see if it appears on the blog... Vi is saying "CHEEEEEESE!"

Softball game tonight & family gathering tomorrow - great times all around!

Please pray for mom's protection through all this family time. Her resistance is low and, as you probably know, many people are fighting colds. I woke up this morning with a stuffy nose. Please pray mom doesn't catch any of this junk because it could really be hazardous for her...

Drama llamas...

So... The newest installment is that mom now has a blood clot on her forearm at the cite of where they administered chemo last Thurs. Her Onc. sent us home with an order to put heat on it for 20 min. then off for 20 min. in efforts to break it up. We go back there today for another injection of Nupagen (to build her white cell count) & he'll check it then.

In other news, Dad's doc thinks he might have kidney stones, so he'll go for an x-ray this week...

Hadi seems better. Not sure what her problems were/are... But I believe we're on the road to recovery...

I'm at the chiropractor in this groovy massage chair. Its a mini vacation from clots, stones and hurting pups...

Once again goes to show you that a day without drama is a day without the Lewis family...

what else...?

So... Both Dad and Hadi (my four legged daughter) were quite sluggish this weekend. Dad was in bed at 7 tonight but said, and I quote "I feel fine." As I pushed, as all daughters are expected to do, he finally caved that his kidney has really been bothering him - so much so, that he had scheduled an appt. with the dr. for tomorrow. But, and again I quote, "i feel fine." Men!

So I notice that Hadi had been sporting an "I DON'T feel fine" look & wouldn't lay still at bedtime. Well, come to find out, for one thing she hasn't eaten in several days. (she has one of those automatic food dispensers so please don't call the humane society telling them I'm neglecting her.)

I noticed that she wouldn't bend down to pick up a treat - which is HIGHLY unusual - and watched as it seemed she either couldn't see it or was suddenly afraid of it. Dad picked it up & handed it to her & she ate fine. Then I told her to get some water & she did the same thing. I took a handful of her food in my hand & she gobbled it like she was starving to death, but she would only take it from my hand. Not the bowl. Not the floor. And this is EXTREMELY unusual behavior.

Dad tossed a cookie at her and she almost caught it (almost ruling out that this is a vision problem) but then yelped and favored her front right leg when she landed. So maybe it hurts to stoop down to her food & water dishes? Ok. Now we're getting somewhere. Maybe. Dang. Why didn't I teach her to talk?

So the poor baby finally has her belly full & I gave her an aspirin covertly wrapped in a slick butter coating...

Tomorrow i'll hit my ol' pal, Dr. Jason Wheeler, (the Wonder Vet) for some of his knowledge - but for now... hopefully... prayerfully... we can sleep...

I'm on medication...

Ok, my neurosurgeon (the AMAZING Dr. Dusseau) put me on a pain medication called neurontin. It is not a narcotic which is good. It makes me sleepy, which is sometimes not-so-good. I have figured out that I have to take it 5 hours before bedtime. I also need to be near my bed at about the 5 hours & 15 minutes mark!

Around that mark tonight, I somehow managed to intangle some of my hair into my toothpaste cap. The best part (for you visual thinkers) was that I didn't realise it until I went to set the tube down...and it remained suspended... Floating through the air like a trapeeze.

Have you ANY idea how disturbing a levitating tube of Tom's Spearmint gel while under the influence of a sleep inducing med can be?

Nite

I'm a mess... (Psalm 40)

But all that are hunting for You -
oh, let them sing & be happy.
Let those who know what you're all about
tell the world You're great & not quitting.
And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing & have nothing:
make something of me.
You can do it; You've got what it takes -
but God, don't put it off.

gotta love dem foreigners...

I have this thing where I think its HILARIOUS when foreigners mis-quote our euphemisms. I mean, I commend them for trying, but I think it is so funny! Today, we met Mom's Hospice Dr. For the first time. He is Croatian with a VERY heavy accent - so heavy that mom doesn't really understand him a lot of the time.

Earlier, he was having a serious conversation with mom about the advantages/disadvantages of chemo & radiation treatments and her quality of life. He said "it's between a hard & a rock place." I wanted to laugh SO badly - but instead, I just wrote it down.

Throughout the conversation, he kept saying, "We'll play by da ear." And then, speaking of his nurse, he told mom that "she keeps me on your toes."

I think I might be getting waaay too much of a kick out of this!!! But figured if I thought it was funny, you just might, too!

Great news all around...

Well... Took mom for her blood test this am & her levels are all back up to normal! Praise the Lord! that means she can have her chemo treatment on Thurs. as scheduled. Thanks for praying!

My buddy Tricia (double lung transplant recipient) will be released from the hospital tomorrow! This is starting out to be a GREAT week!

The Shack...

I'm reading an interesting book that I would highly recommend called The Shack by William P. Young.

I GUARANTEE you it will change the way you envision the Trinity... and the way you view life in general. Check it out then let me know your thoughts!

Blood, that quirky substance...

If you remember, mom was having trouble a few weeks ago keeping her red blood count up. Well, I'm happy to announce that, as of this morning, it is at 4.40! (normal range is between 4.20 & 5.40) So thanks to Procrit shots, iron supplements & PRAYER, she's doing much better on that scale.

We now have a new problem. As of this mornings blood work, her white blood count is 1.5 (normal range is between 4.20 &10.0) As you can see, this level is DANGEROUSLY low. They gave her a shot of Nupagen & will give her another one tomorrow in attempts to raise her WBC. This med is known to cause bone pain as it forces the bones to produce more white cells. Please pray that she will remain pain free!

This also means that mom is "quarantined" for the time being. She is at HIGH risk for infection right now, so a simple cold could be life threatening. Please also pray we can keep her healthy.

She was really shocked at the report because she feels so good. She did get a bit discouraged on the way out to the car, and said something like "why can't anything be easy?" I reminded her that she was walking out of that office & that there were several patients inside that required a wheelchair for any mobility whatsoever... Her response, "I truly have been blessed."

She's just tired. And I fully understand that...